I love you. The word, love, has such a strong meaning... yet so does hate. Emotions are so weird. It's so hard to explain it. I love you, but I hate that you love me back. How weird is that, huh? I don't feel like I deserve love. Especially from you. I don't understand how you can love someone that I hate. I hate myself, yet you love me. There is this quote that says "You can't love someone if you don't love yourself first". But I honestly believe that you really have helped me learn why I should love myself for the person and way I am. Even if I sometimes go back to square one, you continue to help me keep going forward repeatedly with this roller coaster of self-love.
It's one of the scariest feelings when you share your deepest fears and secrets to someone. You worry if they'll judge you or tell others. With you, I feel safe. Safe from judgment and everything. I feel like I could tell you everything, no matter how strange or stupid it is. My biggest fear is losing you. I can't lose you. You mean everything and more to me. You're the reason that I continue to breathe every single day, no matter how hard it is for me to keep on pushing through. That fear just continues to grow each second. I tell myself that I love you and it's not even possible to love you more because I've already gone past the limit. But my heart keeps proving me wrong. I just love you more each second and it makes it scarier to lose you.
One of my other fears is you seeing me the way I see myself. I don't understand what you see in me that makes me so special from others, besides my problems and personality. You could honestly probably go out and find someone better than me. Someone that deserves you and that you deserve. I don't deserve you and I know that. You deserve someone better. All I think I am is just a huge burden to you. I'm just always so depressed, needy, and clingy (in a way). I sometimes just question... why me? I'm not special in any good ways.
You're just so perfect to me. You're amazing. Kind. Caring. Funny. Adorable. Cute. Handsome. Affectionate. Considerate. Encouraging. Supportive. Intelligent. Honest. Trustworthy. Loyal. Loving. Lovable. Thoughtful. Incredible. Unique. Special. Reliable. Empathetic. Plus so much more. You've made such an impact on my life and I can't imagine it without you. You're always going to be my everything. You're my definition of love. I can't wait to spend every single second of my life with you and create so much more memories. Thank you for being in my life. I love you, Conner.
What's your definition of love? Your family? Your friends? Your significant other? Your pets? Your favorite place? Your most prized possession? Yourself? Maybe you don't have a definition for love... at least not yet.
Note: As you can tell, this is was about my lovely boyfriend. I just thought I should give him an explanation of a few things. But I still wanted to include other people (that read this) within this, so yeah. That was kinda interesting.
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Broken
RandomDepression... it feels like you're drowning. It gets harder to breathe as every second flies by. Everyone is just watching you drown, but not noticing that you might be on your very last breath. Will someone save you? Will you be able to save yourse...
