Adam Parrish/Ronan Lynch-A Perfect Someone

Title your Story Part

The tension inside Ronan Lynch's charcoal BMW was taking a lethal toll on Adam Parrish's lungs. He knew that if he didn't do something soon, he would surely pass out from the crushing sensation buried in his chest. His eyes searched nervously for something to distract him, and settled on the midnight blue sky above. He tried counting the stars and identifying the different constellations, but that awful feeling that sat in the pit of his stomach didn't want to go away especially when he could feel Ronan's glare on the back of his neck. He thought that it would be a lot safer if Ronan would keep his eyes on the road while he drove, but then again safety wasn't necessarily Ronan's field of expertise.

Adam caught sight of a sudden shooting star, and wished he was anywhere but here. He wanted to be home. By home, he meant his pitiful excuse of an apartment at St Agnes. Truth be told Adam didn't even really consider it a home, nonetheless his home, but an attic on top of a church in the middle of Henrietta was as good as it was going to get for someone like him, someone who didn't seem to belong anywhere.

Suddenly the BMW came to an abrupt halt that caused Adam to jerk back against his seat. He tensed as he felt a toned alabaster arm rest itself behind his head rest.

"Alright, what's wrong?" whispered Ronan who had been watching Adam since they had left Monmouth, and had noticed that his Henrietta boy was more restless than usual.

Despite his very un-Ronan-like attitude, Adam's eyes never met Ronan's as he shook his head in response.

Ronan let out an exasperated sigh, "Okay let's try this again," he cleared his throat and removed his arm from the head rest, "For fuck's sake Parrish, what crawled up your ass tonight?"

Ah, now that was more like it.

Adam swallowed before turning his head to meet eyes with the Irish boy next to him. He opened his mouth to speak, and then closed it. He took a deep breath, opened his mouth and, deciding he was a lot less brave than he had originally thought, shut it again.

Ronan rolled his eyes and said, "Your impression of a fish is quite fucking impressive, Parrish."

Adam dropped his gaze to his calloused hands, "Were you ever in love with...Kavinsky?"

Adam shut his eyes to hide his shame and clenched his jaw as if waiting for Ronan to erupt, but instead the most unbearable of silences followed Adam's question.

Ronan said, "Jesus, I don't even know if I liked him."

And then Adam no longer knew if it was because of the exhaustion of the past few days or the fact that he was so close to getting an answer to something, anything, but he decided he had nothing else to lose.

"I just can't stop thinking," he began, unable to stop the words from tumbling out, "that if Kavinsky were still here, there never would have been an 'us'. I never had a chance, not with Kavinsky right there, did I? Both of you just seemed meant for each other in some crazy twisted way, two kings who ruled over people like me, people who mean nothing. I'm your second choice, aren't I? I mean, no one picks me, not when there's someone else involved. Blue didn't, not even my parents did... I can't understand why? Why do you want me? And the only reason I can't find is that you're settling, that I'm with you by some miracle, and I don't...I don't..."

Adam stopped to catch his breath, his hands shook, so he ran them through his hair. It took everything he had to stop the tears from streaming down his face. As he brought his palms to cover his eyes, trying to keep his pride intact, he didn't see Ronan look away to fight the urge to wrap his arms around Adam in an attempt to hold the pieces of a person so broken together.

What Adam didn't know is that it had never been Kavinsky or Adam. Kavinsky had never been an option. It had always been Adam, Adam, Adam. Adam's voice, Henrietta accent and all, made his stomach twist. Adam's smile made his heart miss a beat. Adam's sun-kissed skin made him weak at the knees. Adam, Adam, fucking Adam. Yes, he and Kavinsky had shared something, but goddamn, that Russian was like fire: quick, unexpected, dangerous and left you with first degree burns. When he looked at Kavinsky, he saw that he walked the thin line between bravery and stupidity. When he thought of Kavinsky, burnt cocaine, bright lights and dream-clouded sleep filled his mind. With Kavinsky, nothing was real, and it was all a dream. Everything was now or never.

With Adam, there was a future, a forever.

When he looked at Adam, he saw the everyday bravery that made Ronan want to keep living. The thought of Adam sent images of sunsets, sky blue eyes and stolen kisses to Ronan's brain. His reality with Adam was a dream.

Ronan swallowed, and cast a quick glance in the passenger seat. "Holy fuck, how oblivious could you be?" he thought.

Didn't Adam know that Ronan prefers listening to him speak than indulge in his collection of Celtic music, that Adam's voice was his favorite track? He was sure Adam couldn't possibly imagine that Ronan's hatred for movies stemmed from the fact that he couldn't bear not paying attention to Adam for such a long time or that occasionally he slips his spare change in Adam's cereal box, taking care of someone who didn't wanted to be cared for. Why couldn't a boy as bright as Adam believe that, every night when Ronan lies next to him, the word 'love' threatens to escape his lips?

Ronan doesn't know everything but he does know that he never felt that way with K.

There was so much to say when it came to Adam Parrish, but in that moment with his Adam so close to breaking, he could only get himself to bring his hand to cup Adam's cheek.

He whispered, "Oh, Adam."

Slowly Adam locked eyes with Ronan, and there was nothing left to say. There were some things that couldn't be put into words. Adam forgot what he had been so worried about, and all he could think was that vulnerable, gentle Ronan in the moonlight was beyond beautiful.

Like magnets, they leaned into each other. Adam hooked his fingers through the belt loops of his boyfriend's jeans while Ronan wrapped his arms around Adam's neck. Their kisses began as soft and loving and grew into fierce and passionate. They spoke without speaking. Adam bit down on Ronan's bottom lip, eliciting a gasp from the latter, and moved down to suck on the pale flesh of Ronan's neck. Ronan clung to the tanned country boy as if his life depended on it while Adam traced adorations in Latin across his collarbone with his tongue. Ronan, shaking with desire, gripped Adam's tousled hair and pulled him up in order to nibble at his ear. Adam arched into Ronan, and his slender fingers gracefully slipped into the waistband of his Celtic beauty's jeans, teasing at the sensitive skin right above his boxers. Ronan brought his mouth to Adam's elegant jaw line, leaving a trail of kisses along the way, before brushing his lips against Adam's.

Adam's breath caught in his throat and he mumbled, "Can we continue this back at the apartment?"

Ronan smirked, "Mmm oh yes baby."

Adam chuckled and Ronan thought it was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard. Ronan smiled and Adam thought it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

It was then that Adam realized he had been home along.