Darker: Sequel to Harder To Breathe

No One Else Like You

*Adam's pov

I stared at the clock, 4:38 am. I still had time to sleep. Ha, sleep. I don't think I've slept more than 4 hours since Jaz died. I sighed and turned on the light and started writing, hopefully finishing the song I started so I at least accomplished something. I finished the song as Molly opened the door. "Hi daddy" she said softly. I put my notebook aside as she crawled up on the bed. I pulled her close and smiled as she buried her face in my neck. "How are you baby?" I asked rubbing her back. "I miss mommy" she said and she started to cry. "It's okay baby" I said softly. "Are you okay?" she asked. I sighed, "not really sweetie, I miss mommy too, and I know the last few days I've been really sad and I haven't really spent much time with you, but I'm working on it. I'm sorry I haven't been better at this." I said. "It's okay, I'll be strong for you" she said wiping her eyes. "You don't need to little girl, you can be just as weak as me" I said and rocked her. "I love you daddy" she said and cried against me again. "I love you too" I said and the tears overflowed. She giggled some through her tears, "Daddy you're getting my hair salty!" she said. I chuckled some, "come on, let's get you another bath then" I said looking down at my little girl. She jumped up and ran to the bathroom.

"Maybe I can do this, as long as I have Molly" I whispered and followed her. I filled the tub for her and listened as she sang one of my songs to me. Damn, Jaz would say, she took right after you. I smiled at the thought of it. "Daddy, do we have to go today?" she asked as she finished the song and I helped her rinse her hair. "Yea baby, we have to" I said. "Why?" "Because we have to say goodbye to mommy" I said. "Oh, what are we gonna do without mommy?" she asked. Shit she was too smart for her own good. "It's gonna be you and me kiddo. And we're gonna go on tour and you'll see uncle James, uncle Jesse, uncle matt, uncle Mickey, uncle pj, and uncle Sammy all the time" I said. "And my aunties and cousins?" she said hopefully. I chuckled, "yea baby them too" I said. "What about Bella?" she asked. "Bella's gonna help me take care of you while I'm working" I said. "Oh" she was quiet then as she reached for a towel. I smiled and wrapped it around her and lifted her out of the tub and drained it. "Do you like Bella?" she asked. She was standing in front of me as I helped her dry off. "Yea I like her" I responded carefully. "Do you like her like you like mommy?" she asked. "The only person I like, the way I liked mommy is you little girl, and I'll never like anyone the way I like you or mommy" I said and kissed her head. "Come on now, time to get dressed and have breakfast" I said and took her to her room to help her dress.

"Daddy you know I can do this all by myself right?" she asked. I stopped and looked at her, my 5 year old daughter, amazed at how grown up she was. "Right, sometimes I forget baby. Sometimes I just want you to be a little girl I have to do everything for" I said sighing. "I like it though, when you help me" she said softly. I kissed her head, "can you finish? Cause I can get dressed and we can pick up breakfast" I offered. "Ooh Starbucks?! I like their muffins" she giggled and hurried to dress. I laughed, "sure" I said and went to get dressed. I met her down in the kitchen sitting beside my keys where I left them last night, ready to go. "You look beautiful baby" I said and kissed her head. "Thank you. You look handsome" she said and we made our way to Starbucks. "Don't forget about Bella" she said and placed her order for her. "You have an excellent memory" I said and paid. "Mommy used to say that too" she smiled. We collected our order and headed home. "My God you scared me half to death! I wake up to make breakfast and get Molly and no one's home!" Bella said when we walked into the kitchen. "Sorry Bella! I wanted muffins!" Molly said smiling brightly. "We got you something too" she said. "Sorry, neither one of us could sleep so we thought we'd bring you breakfast" I said shrugging. She smiled slightly, "thanks" she said as I handed her, her coffee.

We ate quietly together before anyone dared to speak. "Can I be excused?" Molly asked. "Of course, but don't get dirty we're leaving in a couple minutes" I said and watched her run into the living room. "Bella, I..." I stopped and looked at her and knew she would understand, "I need to ask you to start that full time nanny gig for real tomorrow. The guys and I are going back into the studio to work and I know they wouldn't mind if I took her but for now I rather keep her home, it's no fun while we write. She'd like it better while we recorded anyway" I said rambling on and on. "Sure thing" she said looking back at me. "Come on let's get this over with" I said sighing. The limo pulled up to the funeral home and I took a moment to gather myself before getting out. Molly clung to me crying yelling about not wanting to go in. "It's okay baby" I said holding her. She buried her head into my neck while I carried her inside and up to the casket. "Do you want to see her?" I asked before going all the way up. She nodded a little and we went up together. We knelt in front of her and Molly looked up. "I'm gonna miss you a lot" she said, "I love you mommy" she said and ran back to the seats with Bella. "I'm gonna miss you too baby. I love you sweetheart, with all my heart. I'm trying to be strong and I'm trying to keep my promises but the moving on one," I shook my head. "I wish you never made me promise that" I said wiping my eyes.

I kissed her one last time and turned back to see the guys sitting with Molly and Bella. "Adam" Shawn said walking in. "Why? Why tomorrow?" he asked. I knew he would, I just thought he'd wait a little bit. "Because I need the distraction" I said. "You need to take care of your daughter" he said. "I am. And I'm also keeping my promise to Jaz. Bella is only watching her while we write she'll be with us when we record." I said. Shawn rolled his eyes, "we're here if you need us, don't rush into anything" he said and pulled me into an embrace.

**

(one week later)

"Hey Jess" I said turning away from him bottle in my hand. "This isn't good Adam. What about Molly? What if she caught you like this? She's smarter than you think" he said. "She is with Bella, at her house. She was finishing up some stuff where she works so she could nanny for me. Molly wanted to go" I said and took another swig of tequila. Jesse took the bottle and poured it down the sink. "What the fuck is your problem?" I yelled. Why is everyone growing way my liquor?! "Look at yourself! You've been drunk for a week! What would Jaz say?!" he yelled back. "Don't bring Jaz into this!" I yelled pushing him. "Why? You don't seem to care much about hurting Molly!" he yelled pushing me back. "How am I hurting her?" "Neglect! How much time have you spent with her? Not much, she's always with Bella, and your always drunk!" he yelled. "What do you want from me?!" I screamed. "Cut the shit! Take care of your daughter and stop this nonsense of getting back into the studio and deal with this!" he pushed me again and I fell back into the wall. I crumbled to the ground in a pile of tears. "I promised Jaz" I sobbed. "Promised Jaz what?" he asked sitting next to me. "I promised I'd get back in the studio. When she was diagnosed she made me promise I'd sing again. She made me promise to move on and fall in love again." "Adam, I..." "It's okay" I shook my head, "I deserved it, I've gotten worse since the funeral I needed this kick in the ass" I said wiping my eyes. "What can I do?" "This, keep doing this" I said.

"Daddy! Did you know Bella is a teacher?" Molly said running in the kitchen. "Oh hi Uncle Jesse!" she said hugging him. "Why are you on the floor?" she asked. "Uh I slipped when I was cleaning" I said and got up. "Oh, can we listen to music daddy?" she asked. "I have to go to the studio..." "Why don't you pick something, Uncle Shawn called and said the studio was closed" Jesse said. "Yay!" she said and ran to the music room. "I gotcha covered" he said. I smiled, "thanks man" I said. "I'll be in my room" Bella said. I nodded and followed Molly. "Can we listen to this one? Mommy really liked this one" she said holding up songs about jane. "Sure baby" I said and put it in the cd player and we curled up on the couch. "Daddy, will things be the same without mommy?" She asked. "Eventually" I said playing with her hair. "Will you find someone else?" she asked. "What are you talking about?" "Will you find me a new mommy like mommy wanted you too?" "How do you know about that?" I asked. "I heard you talking to Bella after the um... wakey thing" she said. "You were in the kitchen, I was going to get water but went back to bed when I heard you" she said. I sighed, "I will try to keep my promise to mommy but it's hard, I really loved mommy and I don't think I'll love someone like that again" I said. "Oh" she said and we were quiet.