She sat quietly in her room at the orphanage in Florida. It wasn't a stereotypical kind that you'd read about in the books where they treat the kids horribly, it was a decent place. They treated her better than some foster homes she was in, although the last one treated her like she was part of their family even with her being depressed. Sadly, they could no longer take care of her after Richard, the father of the house, lost his job. They had to send Sam to an orphanage a few towns over. She was upset that she had to leave them, but she understood. Sam was waiting for her new set of foster parents to come and take her away from the orphanage for a while. She knew they wouldn't look after her for long. It never lasted more than a few months. They could only handle her baggage for so long. It's not like they understood why she did what she did.
Sam, only being sixteen, has been diagnosed with severe depression for two and a half years, with her self harming and having suicidal thoughts in that time. It all started with when she was 13, soon to turn 14, and someone decided to point out something that would make her rethink everything. They pointed out that she didn't have a normal "family". By that they meant that she didn't live with her birth parents, she didn't even know who they were, and moved from foster home to foster home every few months. That's when everything changed.
She started over thinking things, like why her parents abandoned her, why her foster parents treated her differently, etc. She was one of those people that shouldn't be left alone at 3 am because her thoughts ended up consuming her. That's all it took for her to take the blade from a small hand-held pencil sharpener and slid, what would become her new best friend, across her soft, untouched, pale skin. Leaving three new fresh wounds on her wrist and that was only the beginning of it all.
In eighth grade, after she was moved to her fifth foster home, is when the bullying started. It wasn't even the "populars", as some people would call them, that started bullying her. Sure they joined in after they found out thats what was "cool", but it was a random boy from her science class that started to pick on her. She was walking down the hallway to second period when he walked passed her, pushing her into a locker, which made her drop all her things, and called her a pathetic loser after he noticed her scars. That night when she got home, she pulled out one of many blades from her desk draw and dragged the cold piece of metal against her wrist that held many scars and healing cuts.
In ninth grade she had now been to her sixth foster home. Her foster father was an alcoholic who didn't like the fact he had to look after her and decided laying a hand on her would make it better. That one small smack across the face led to many beatings throughout her two months there. During that time her depression got worse and the self harming happened more often. It went from doing it once a week to doing it four times a week.
Half way through grade ten Sam was still dealing with depression, but now she was contemplating suicide while sitting on her bed at the orphanage. She was thinking about what would be the quickest and easiest way when someone knocked on her door.
"Sam your next foster parents are here, they seem like lovely people," Tammy the orphanage mom, as they called her, told her. Sam gave her a small smile and said a quiet thank you that was barely heard by Tammy.
Sam picked up her small duffel bag that held the little bit of clothes she kept since was sent back to the orphanage. Tammy offered to carry it for her but Sam lightly shook her head in a no manner, saying it was fine. The two women walked together, more like Sam walked a bit behind Tammy, to the main office where her future foster parents were. The floor boards squeaked underneath her every few steps as she silently prayed to herself that these people weren't bad like some of her past foster homes. Sam wasn't paying attention ahead of her so she didn't notice that Tammy had stopped and walked right into her back. She cleared her throat slightly as she look behind her at Sam who shot her a shy smile and quickly apologizing. It's not that Tammy was mean or scared Sam, she just didn't want to annoy her. Tammy reached for the doorknob to the office when Sam asked,
"Do they seem nice?" Tammy just smiled at her.
"Why don't you see for yourself?" This made Sam a bit nervous till the door was opened and she was face to face with a smiling lady. The woman looked to be in her mid thirties, she had pale blue eyes and dark brown hair. It seemed like she didn't age at all with her beauty.
"Hi there, I'm Lisa, my husband David is back home so you'll be able to meet him later. I'm taking it that you are Sam, yes?" Sam just nodded her head slightly at Lisa. From what she could tell, Lisa seemed like a nice person so far but she knew she couldn't be quick to judge if she was.
"So let's take a seat and get Lisa to sign a few papers and then you guys can be on your way," Tammy said suddenly. Sam and Lisa sat down in the two chairs in front of Tammy's desk while Tammy herself sat in the big chair behind the desk.
The two adults talked amoungst themselves about what the papers meant, such as that they will look after and care for Sam. While they talked she picked at her nails as she thought it would be like at her new foster home. Do they have children of their own? Will they treat her differently because of her depression? All she could do is think of all the possibilities. It could either be good or bad, but she just had to wait and find out.
Suddenly a hand was placed on her shoulder and made her jump slightly. Sam looked to the right of her to Lisa, who's hand was on her shoulder. Lisa sent her a warm smile and then shocked her with what she said next.
"So are you ready for a 5 hour flight to California?"
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hi! bare with me here, this is my first story so I know it sucks right now but hopefully it will get better if you think it is bad lol and I'll make the chapters longer!
Also sorry if there are any typos or grammar errors!
Have a wonder day or night wherever you are. x
