The Harsh Reality

|Prologue|

Nothing hurts more than being disappointed by the person you thought would never hurt you... That was the day I lost hope in everything and everyone; the day I broke into millions of tiny, little shards, wondering where my faults were. Among everyone, I was alone and broken, though no one really seemed to notice how hurt I was deep down inside. Despite having every reason to see it coming, it left me stunned as I was blind to his selfish actions and only saw his undeniable love for me. But that wasn't it... That wasn't it at all. He soon outgrew that passionate love and I was the only one holding on to what I wanted. Him. That's all I wanted at that moment.

Back then, I had to live with the dread of encountering him almost every single day when I pushed myself to avoid him and all the troubles that are included. The thought of him caused me to feel physically and emotionally nauseous; not because I hated him, but because I got reminders of all the jubilant memories we shared and the thought of all that going to waste; not making any more memories to look back on, seemed like a horrifying nightmare I couldn't escape from. This provoked an uproar of emotions to swirl erratically in my head, which made me feel so blue... It tore me apart, sending sick feelings around every crevice in my stomach, to the point where it affected how much I ate. The feeling got out of control and soon became the worst thing in the world... to lose someone you thought you would have forever. But that's life and you have to move on no matter the reason and unfortunately, that's what I had to do.

Our relationship started 6 months ago, May 19th. It was a complete fairytale and everything I could have asked for. I felt protected, loved, happy... like I was actually worth something to someone; to have someone who was frightened to lose me came as a shock because I never thought I could be that important. The first few months were the best times in my life and I had someone who I could rely on; tell my problems to and share fun memories with. His name was River, and he was the most gorgeous boy I had ever laid eyes on. I'd known him for a couple of years before we started dating so I was comfortable around him. River was trustworthy, funny, caring, accepting, reliable and he had near to no faults. He was always the kind of guy to support anyone who needed guidance and stood by them until they're at least stable with their own life. It was almost like he had the heart of a lion and the soul of an angel. He had golden, brown hair, which was swooped over to his right, with perfectly aligned streaks of a tanned-blond colour, and he had the fullest, dark-brown eyebrows. His mesmerising, ocean-blue eyes sparkled day after day, with flecks of silvery light which performed ballet throughout. From them came an intensity, an honesty, a gentleness. He had prominent cheekbones and a well-defined chin and nose, followed by the cute, little dimples which were engraved in his rosy cheeks every time he smiled. His smile lit up a thousand lights and could cure any illness; River was the most amazing person and I was so lucky to have him.