IN THE MIND

THE MIND OF ME

       Sometimes people like to think that some people are brats because they constantly have the urge to go shopping, get new things etc. People who constantly buy new clothes all the time aren't buying them to just buy them cuz they want it, they buy them because they hate how they look in their own clothes, then when they see others looking good in clothing they don't have they want to have it to because if there is a chance they can look even a little less than horrible they want to take it. Or if people are in constant search for new items which are expensive or big, it is because they can not find joy in the things that they already own, or if someone has a dog or a cat and they want another one or more, it is not because they are ungrateful, it is because they need more things to give them comfort or offer the love that they strive to get from anything they can, only because they feel unloved and hurt. Hurt people hurt people. And the cycle moves on, it is not that teens are really moody and they talk back to adults and parents, it's that when they were little they didn't feel sad, which led to mad, which led to the spiral of moods depending on how well you are able to cover up your sadness. If someone acts nice and happy one second and sad or angry in another, it is not because they are moody, it just depends how well they can hide the intensities of feeling at the moment. Also, when we were little people/our parents could tell us and make us do whatever they wanted, now that we do not do that and are able to understand the selfish deeds they force upon us, they like to call us bratty teens who like to talk back, not people who are realizing the world and are dealing with issues placed in them, not only by others but by their families. Sometimes people assume sadness and other things grow at school and home is a comforting pit of joy where all of it goes away. It is not true, for example for me at school i am happy but at home, i have time to think, realize and experience emotion in the slow hours, which are nothing like the constant flow of minutes in school. Parents words, tones, phrases put weight on those feelings. Some parents think they do nothing, but they do, they make you feel bad with the slightest action and comment. Or maybe they don't and actually do nothing, maybe that's the problem, you find out there is a small chance your child is bulimic and ignore it, than a month later, knowing she struggles with confidence, you criticize her about eating so much, and request she goes on a diet, right when she was starting to feel better. Or sometimes you want to become anorexic because when you look in the mirror you see a fat sack of sadness and you look at others and they look like a slim bar of joy. You beg yourself to just stop eating, stop taking in those calories and just stop the sadness because from what you see, you are happy when you are skinny and perfect. You just want your mind to clear with your skin, which constantly emphasized. You just want to run and exercise until you are as this as then they are, the happy people. That's what causes a spiral, not school, not grades but people and their actions, they have no idea what the hell is going on in the lives and minds of people around them, but they don't care. They are just stuck in their own circle of life, too lazy to take a glance. Maybe there is a voice in you that begs them to realize there is something wrong and help you, but like a nightmare, your screams and cries for help are just stuck in your head, where no one can hear them. 

THIS WAS MY FIRST RANT> COMMENT YOUR THOUGHTS AND/OR IF YOU CAN RELATE.