Drowning in Guilt

Drowning Chapter 3

Okay here is the next chapter. Hope you guys like it.

Chapter 3

I stood there frozen as I took in Jay's features. It had been nearly five years since I had seen him, and he had been eighteen then. There was no denying he was good looking. He still had the same vibrant blue eyes he and Lexi shared. His honey toned hair wasn't long and scraggly like it had been in high school, now it was cut short and spiked. He wasn't much taller, maybe 6'1", but his build had defiantly changed. Standing in front of me was no longer the scrawny boy who used to push me over when we would be ridding our bikes. No, his once wiry build had transformed into solid muscle and broad shoulders. I could see the defined muscles through his light grey button up dress shirt.

"Jenna Bear!" He exclaimed as he wrapped his arms around me, twirling us both in circles. Setting me back down, but still keeping his arms around me, Jay gazed deeply into my eyes. "I honestly didn't think I would see you again."

"No one has called me that in years." I smiled shaking my head. Lexi and Jay were the only ones who ever called me 'Jenna Bear'. I don't even remember how it got started, it had been my nickname for as long as I can remember.

"No escaping it, you'll always be my Jenna Bear." He smiled at me warmly, unwrapping his arms from my waist, only to take my hand instead. "So lets go get the rest of your bags."

"This is it." I said picking up my bag. Jay's eyes squinted, in thought, as he looked at my small travel bag.

"Im only staying for the funeral Jay." I said answering his unasked question.

The funeral, it hadn't occurred to me that our small town had but one church and cemetery. The same church that held Lexi's service and the same cemetery that now holds her body beneath its well cared for lawn. This will be much harder than I anticipated.

Jay stood there, still starring at my single bag, his brow wrinkled up in thought.

"Jenna, -" Jay started.

"Lets get going!" I interrupted, in a bubbly tone.

Our eyes held. Please Jay, please. I thought to myself. I didn't know exactly what he was planning to say before I interrupted, but I was sure it had to do with Lexi.

Breaking the war between our eyes, I turned and started towards the exit.

"Not so fast." Jay said, tugging me back, my hand still enveloped in his. "I have another drifter to accommodate."

I looked up at him, questioning with my eyes. I was about to ask who when I heard an oh too familiar voice behind us.

"Hey man!" Trent called out, pulling Jay into a hug from behind.

Jay turned around giving Trent a one-armed hug, as he was still holding my hand.

Trent, finally noticing I was there, cocked his head to the side. "Jenna?"

I thought I felt Jay tighten his grip on my hand, but it must just have been a reflex.

"Do you guys know each other?" Asked Jay, as he looked from me to Trent.

I saw Trent's gave fall to our linked hands. He smirked as his eyes shot back to mine. "She just had the - pleasure -" great, I think this is going to become an unavoidable joke between Trent and I. "- of spending the past five hours with the sexiest bachelor in LA." He answered and I rolled my eyes.

Shaking my head in disbelief I cut in. "Okay, can we go now?"

"Yeah, your Dad's pretty excited to have you back home." Jay said pulling me along as he headed towards the exit. I tried to subtly pull my hand away, it felt too strange. He had always been the annoying brotherly type, not clingy and possessive. But every time I pulled away his hand gripped mine tighter.

When we reached Jay's light grey jeep Trent started pilling his bags in back. I tried freeing my hand again, only to receive the same squeeze from his.

"Jay?" I said, getting his attention.

"Yeah?" Jay replied, smiling down at me.

"Can I have my hand back?" I giggled, nodding down to our linked hands.

Jay had a weird expression on his face as he released his hold on my hand, I was about to ask what was wrong when Trent appeared shouting shot gun.

The forty-five minute drive to Castalia wasn't anything less then entertaining. Jay and Trent spent the entire ride reminiscing over childhood memories.

"Hey Jenna!" Trent shouted back at me. "Did you know Janice here used to wear thongs!"

My eyes instantly shot up to the rearview mirror to meet Jay's. "What!" I squealed, shocked by the feminine nickname Trent used for Jay.

"Shut up man!" Jay growled, punching Trent in the chest.

"Hey! Ten and Two man, both hands on the wheel!" Trent shouted back, pointing at the steering wheel.

Jay met my eyes in the rear view mirror. "It was only a few days. Someone-" our eye contact broke as Jay flared at Trent. "-thought it would be comical to take advantage of his innocent cousins gullibility, and lead him into thinking it as what all the guys in high school were wearing."

If it wouldn't have been for the seatbelt around me, I would have been on the floor rolling in laughter.

"Hey! You know, I think it takes a very secure man to walk around in a thong." Trent said, patting Jay's shoulder, a satisfied expression played across his face.

Jay nodded back sarcastically. "Thanks Trent."

As I whipped my eyes of the tears that had washed my face from the uncontrollable laughter, I saw the town approaching.

I stared out my window, curious as to what had changed in the past five years.

"Not much has changed." Jay said, as if hearing my thoughts. I kept staring out the window as we rolled into the familiar town.

He was right, not much had changed. The main road was cracked and in need of repair. The buildings were starting to age, pieces of brick missing in some areas. But that didn't matter here, it never had. The people of Castalia didn't care about a new road, or fancy buildings. This was a community that organized bbq's and holiday theatrics. It was a small town but the people were close, like one huge family.

As Jay turned the corner, the familiar white house appeared. Everything still looked the same as the day I left. As we pulled into the driveway, the front door slammed open as my Dad flew out of the house towards us. Jay had barley stopped when my door was yanked open.

"Jenna!" He screamed as he pulled me out of the car and into his arms. "I missed you so much baby girl."

"Me too Dad." I replied, truthfully I really had.

After a few moments he let go of me and turned to Jay. "Jay, if you and Trent want to join us for dinner this evening you more then welcome?"

I turned to face Jay as well.

"Sure Mr. Berg, thanks." Jay answered, only he wasn't looking at my dad when he spoke. He was staring at me. "See you later Jenna Bear." He said, his eyes burning into mine.

©2010 Kelly Heinen