Be my Valentine ☼ deckerstar

♡

It was cold. Which was totally normal for Winter, but Chloe didn't like it. She didn't like the cold air, when it hurt to breathe outside. Also, her dad died in the Winter, which makes it hard for her to breathe whether its cold outside or not. 

Chloe has become a strong woman, no doubt. But like every other person, she had her troubles that wouldn't let her sleep at night. She always thought about how sorry she is because her daughter had to grow up without her dad in the household, and she worried about how she couldn't spend that much time like she would like to with Trixie. She worried about not being good enough for anyone and not pleasing everyone. She knew she didn't have to, like people told her a hundred times before, but she couldn't believe a word they said. All she was and everyone she could ever trust was herself. Just like every other day, she laid in bed and doubted herself.

She starred to the ceiling and breathed slowly. Why was she never enough for anyone to stay? Why would anyone always leave her? She knew damn good how that wasn't true, how she has someone in her life that won't leave. Someone who values her. But its her who runs away. Its always been her. She's been thinking about her nightmares, how she wanted to run away from something big and scary, but she couldn't move. She's had these nightmares for quite a long time now and she just can't figure out how to make them stop. Of course, Chloe already googled what these dreams meant.

„Nightmare

Noun

A frightening or unpleasant dream.

Anxiety and depression can cause adult nightmares. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) also commonly causes people to experience chronic, recurrent nightmares."

She was wondering for quite a time now if her work ethic gave her PTSD. She cared a lot about her work and sometimes she thinks, she should take a break. But she couldn't. She was to afraid that something important could happen while she's absent. She was afraid that something could happen to Trixie, or even to Lucifer. But she knew he could handle himself quite well. She had to smirk. He really was someone worth keeping. He was funny, kind, caring. Ever since their kiss on the rooftop, they haven't talked much. Chloe wondered if Lucifer also laid awake in the evening, thinking about what happened and what will happen. She didn't like commitment much. But it was different with Lucifer, it has always been. She didn't have any fear when she was with him. If he felt the same? He made her vulnerable.

A few breaths later she finally fell asleep.

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„HHHHH" Chloe wakes up and gasps. She sits up in bed.

Its been one of her nightmares again. She's extremely hot and as she feels her forehead, its wet. She takes a deep breath and lays back down again. Chloe just laid there for a while before she decided, she would take the day off today. Right as she wanted to take a look at her alarm, it went off. So she immediately got up to wake Trixie, who already sits in the kitchen and eats breakfast.
„Why are you up already monkey?" Chloe asked concerned.
„Morning Mommy. I needed to get up extra early so I could finish this valentines card for someone from my class" the little one told her with a big smile on her face. Chloe nodded and smiled back to her.
„Oh and Mommy, can I go to Sebastians after school?" She asked her mom. Chloe looked at her and wondered how she grew up so fast.

„Of course you can, Sweetheart. I call daddy so he can pick you up after school okay?" Chloe offered and got the phone.
„But Sebastians mom wanted to drive us mommy, is that okay?" Trixie asked with a hopeful face. Chloe laughed and nodded. But she called Dan either way.
„Hey Dan, listen, I'm taking the day off. Can you pick up Trixie in 30mins and drop her off at school? That would be great. Thanks."