Maybe I should start making some motherly-like post?
This is my second write up about #mypreg though I'm not quite sure whether to make this private again or what.
And I am still wondering what shall I highlight for now.
Yay, based on the title, I'm kinda 33% done since I'm currently on my 12th week!
I'm not quite sure if I'm excited or not. But maybe I'm trying to normalize my emotions. Haha! These past few weeks, I had been so moody, irritated, easily depressed over all the things that would happen around.
I'm also kinda irritated that I felt like I can't work like before because I'm always sleepy or feeling nauseated or my head aches so much. Sad is, my workload has not changed. There's no one who can get my things done. And it seems like my works are piling more and more each day, even if I want to face those, my body won't allow me, too.
Of course, my friends and some of my workmates understand and they are always there to support me. They would often told me off, if I'm trying to overwork again, but there are times when it really can't be helped. I'm just praying so hard that I'm not causing much harm to the baby.
Though, I think at some part, I am really excited about the baby. Nah, of course, I am excited. But nervous and afraid that something might happen if I am too much excited. But still, I can't wait to see, whether it's gonna be a boy or girl, as long as it's normal and healthy. I don't want to get guilty over a lot of things, I don't want to blame myself. I am trying so hard to stop thinking about negativities. Even with all the expenses on the vitamins, prenatal checkups, test, etc.
And yeah, the father. Our work shift is quite different so I don't see or talk to him a lot, lately. I also don't try to pressure him on the responsibilities, yet. To be honest, I don't open up conversation about the baby because I kinda felt selfish about it. Haha! It's like that I want the baby all by myself, though I know it's kinda next to impossible. I already have a list for possible names for the baby, and I sure he won't like those.
It might still be a long way ahead, there's still a lot of changes that might happen within me. It might cause me a bit more discomfort and pain. But I know I can make it. All of these milestone, will be so worthwhile to look back once my baby is out.
Ganbatte to me! Yey!
