My Bloody Truth pt. 1

The Unfair New Start

I can't believe I'm leaving. Everything I know and love left behind like garbage. The one thing that hurts the most is the fact that I leave the only person I can actually trust behind too, my father.

After the fight my father went out in search of my stepmother who at the time was staying at a friends house. He spoke to her, apparently he could only fix things for himself because the woman would not budge and bare to even look at me. All I wanted to do was grab her by the arm, force her to look at me and just say "I hate you so much words can't describe it"...
But of course that was a mear daydream of mine just like the wish that someday I'd be able to find happiness in something other than the hopes of death.

On the morning after she came home I couldn't bear to imagine what my life would turn into if I kept living here. In this house there's no room for me to find joy. She'd do anything in her power to make it impossible as she had promised before and I'm sure like any other of her promises she planned to kept it at whatever cost.

Now I'm leaving, that after all is what she wanted from the start so my hopes are she'll leave me alone once and for all after I'm gone. I'll of course come and visit for summer and Christmas but I don't plan on paying her any mind and of course focusing on spending time with the person who actually wants me there.... as always, my father.

I have my bags packed and ready in a corner of my bedroom. I still have plenty to pack and things to make sure I have with me. I'll miss being here. I won't likely miss being tormented by the wicked witch of the North in this case but I'll miss my room and the nights of laughter I shared with my father in the living room. Because no other place can feel like home other than your home itself. I can only find a place to call home as my grave. Only then will I have a home, so far I have yet to find a place where I don't feel like an ocean of regret and pain flows up and down my body.

My decisions making each and every minute in these places a living hell. The only memories I can hold dear are the ones with no one but my father in them. He alone could make me happy but the second someone else comes into play the story turns upside down and happiness goes out the window.

What will it be of me in Florida. No friends, no father. All alone for now. With only my mother who'll spend most days working to have my back. My other family members too busy with their own life's to mind mine.

I don't know what's in store but I sure do hope my father keeps his promise and stays by my side even though I'm very far away. I sure will keep mine, I don't plan on letting him down. I'll keep making him proud.