Hey Arnold! in the Movies - Arnold and Helga Meet a FAMOUS Director

Chapter 5

Grandpa sat in silence and watched as Arnold replayed the footage recorded by Mr. Hyunh on the living room television. After much cajoling, Arnold was able to convince him to watch the recording; he originally thought it was footage from the movie, but it was actually of Gil himself, talking with Arnold and confessing his true intentions for filming at the boarding house.

"Now do you see?" asked Arnold after he watched the entire conversation.

Grandpa lowered his head. "I...I didn't know. I didn't realize he came to apologize. All this time, I thought he was still that punk kid. Guess he really did change...."

"That's what I've been saying from the start!" said Arnold. "He really loves this place, Grandpa. It may be just mindless schlock to you, but to Gil, filming in the boarding house is like a love letter to his childhood. Don't take that from him."

Grandpa stood up, slapping his fist into his palm with conviction. "You're right, Shortman! I've got to make this right again! Oh, if only I knew how..."

"I have an idea where you can start," said Arnold.

--

When Big Bob got wind of the production troubles, he decided to take advantage of the situation and went over to Sunset Arms in a bid to annex the directorial duties. His associate Nick Vermicelli began handing out BIG BOB'S BEEPERS t-shirts to the rest of the cast and ordered them to wear them while on screen.

This was all too much for Helga. "Come on, Dad – this is ridiculous! No amount of money is worth this! You're ruining the film!"

"Hey hey hey!" barked Big Bob. "Hate to break it to you, but your creative integrity means bupkus in the face of the almighty dollar. As long as Gil's out of the picture, my assistant director Nick and I are commandeering this production and filling every nook and cranny with product placement for my business. And if you still want to be in this movie, you'll get back in line and promote some beepers!"

"You can take your stupid beepers and SHOVE IT! I quit!" Helga ripped the t-shirt off and stormed off the set just as Gil, Arnold, and Grandpa were coming up the stairs.

"Ah – who needs her anyway?" said Big Bob. "We got plenty of inexpensive kids here just dying to be in this film. Hey, you three –" he pointed to Curly, Sheena, and Harold " – wanna be stars?"

"Do I?!" said Curly. "Do I get to improvise?"

"Sure, whatever – as long as you remember to mention Big Bob's Beepers."

"Hot dog!" Curly ripped off HIS t-shirt, revealing a black leotard underneath, and proceeded to do interpretive dance before grabbing a nearby bag of beepers. "SOMEBODY STOP ME!" he yelled, throwing beepers at Harold and Sheena and anyone else in his wake while laughing maniacally.

"Alright – that's it!" Gil said, finally stepping in. "I'm wresting back control of this production!"

"Yeah, right!" said Big Bob. "I know a thing or two about bad deals, and I heard you signed the granddaddy of bad deals, meaning you've lost your power!"

"That's right," said Gil. "But I think you're forgetting one thing."

"Yeah! And that's the Granddaddy!" said Grandpa. "That's me! I'm him! And as lessor of the tenant agreement, I have the power to nullify the terms. And guess what? They are officially null and void!"

He pulled the tenant agreement out of his pocket and ripped up in several pieces before tossing the shreds in Big Bob's face with a grand flourish.

"So hit the road, Jack!...or Bob, or whatever your name is...take your weasel and get off of my property!"

"Fine!" Big Bob said indignantly. "Come on, Nick, let's bounce. We've gotta catch that crazy kid that ran off with half my merchandise anyway."

---

About a block away, a bored Jolly Olly Man waited impatiently for a kid to choose his ice cream.

"BEEPER-JITSU!" yelled Curly, whapping the Jolly Olly Man in the face with the bag of beepers.

---

After Big Bob and Nick left, Grandpa turned to Gil.

"Look...I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused you," said Grandpa. "I realize now that you just wanted to make a good movie. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Phil! That's all I ever wanted from you in the first place! Come here, you old coot!" Gil outstretched his arms and the two of them hugged. When the hug was over, Gil turned to address everyone who remained and still had faith in the movie.

"Sorry about the delay, folks!" he said. That's the nature of the beast in this industry. At least we didn't have to wait 15 years, am I right?"

The group laughed. "But the show must go on! I may have to do a bit of groveling to get our two leads back, but come heck or high water this movie will get made!"

The crowd cheered. Gil smiled at Grandpa and Grandpa returned the gesture, the feud finally put to an end.

---

Filming wrapped a few weeks later. Several months later, Gil held an advance screening of Blood & Gore 5 at Sunset Arms for everyone involved, child and boarder alike.

The entire living room was filled to the brim as everyone tried to get a good view of the movie on the boarding house's television set. As the film played, Grandpa placed a hand on Arnold's shoulder.

"You were right, Shortman," he said. "This was a great thing for the neighborhood.

"I told you," said Arnold. "And aren't you glad you and Gil aren't enemies anymore?"

"Yeah...I guess Gil is an okay guy after all..."

"Shh!" said Ernie. "I can't hear my scene!"

It was the part of the movie where Maurice tried to protect Lola from some threat offscreen. Maurice was knocked out, so then Ernie appeared on screen to defend Lola.

"Don't worry, love!" said Ernie (wearing a stovepipe hat and affecting a cockney chimney sweep accent). "I'll keep you from danger, I will!"

Lola gave a textbook scream queen screech. "It's...so...horrifying...!"

The scene cut and the audience gasped, then burst into hysterical laughter. For instead of some hideous creature, it was Grandpa in his BVDs doing his stretches.

"Gil!" yelled Grandpa.

"Sorry, Phil," Gil said, laughing. "I couldn't resist! You gotta admit: Hyunh's camerawork has really improved!"

Grandpa chased Gil around the living room as everyone continued to laugh and enjoy the movie.

"I guess some things never change," Gerald said to Arnold. Arnold shrugged and the two joined in on the laughter.

THE END