My friends and lovers

The Burning Building

"Oh, help!" I screamed from the 110th floor of the burning building. "Oh, help me!"

The people below were useless. They stood with their phones pointed at my beautiful face, and chanted 'jump' to me. All hope was lost, and then my hero arrived.

She kicked down the door, somehow Teleporting to save me. Her brown hair, dyed pee yellow at the ends shone like the sun in the cover of the flames. Her eyebrows lifted astronomically as she spotted her lover (Me, obs) cowering by the window. She blinked, confused as she felt the fez donning her head. And then, she spoke to me.

"Sup'," My hero said, hitting her head on the doorway as she came in further while playing the ukulele.

I dropped the the floor, quivering like a fish as the stroke hit me. My hero watched, playing a mournful tune on her beautiful ukulele.  I stood, the stroke only lasting seconds, and flew into her arms. In the fire we must have looked like a B-tech Severus Snape and Lily Potter, but we were even ore madly in love.My hero had also washed her fringe in the sink that morning.

She carried me in her arms to the window, the floor crumbling below us. We stood for minutes at the window, making sure the world could see our love. And the floor, sensing our love, waited patiently to crumble again.

I looked into the eyes of my hero, those brown eyes that were as dark as my life before her. I tried to wrap my arms around her neck, but they were too short. She could see my double chins, but she still loved me.

"Yeet!" She yelled, and then she jumped.

We landed safely on the ground, her jet-pack slowing our fall. The crowd booed, chucking their rubbish at us as we did not die. We did not care, we were madly in love. Micheal Bay parted from the ground, offering us a movie deal while Mozart descended form the heavens playing a sympathy we inspired in him. Stan Lee argued with Micheal Bay for the film rights, Spider Man dabbing behind him.

I looked at my hero, my lover, and whispered my eternal love to her: "This is why mom doesn't ducking love you."