as i stood in the bathroom with my father while he smoked a cigarette out the tiny window, i thought about a lot as we began to talk. the coincidence was that i thought about you and he brought you up. we talked about how much of an impact you had on my life; that i had just you and Mom really. he knew you were an important person in my life. he knows how much i miss you and he knows how much i love you. then it all it me at once; no more random phone calls. no more random pop ups to see you. no more thanksgiving talks. no more christmas eve pop ups. no more christmas morning phone calls. no more new years "champagne" (it was actually ginger ale with her, she didn't like to drink). no more shopping randomly and no more storytime. i've thought about it before, yes, bc it's been over a year. it still hurts. tonight, it hurt so bad to the point where i cried in that bathroom against the windowsill and my father had no idea what to do since he's never seen me cry. he said he understood and i know he did but i also didn't feel like he could really understand it all. you never saw me walk the stage or got to wait outside to hug me after. you never saw me blow out my birthday candles on my 18th birthday or gave me a kiss on the cheek with your pink lipstick before i left with my friends. you couldn't hug me and send me off to my first day of college. you wasn't there to congratulate me on getting my first job. you were there i spirit, but you can't make physical contact with a spirit like you can with a living being. i still miss you and it hurts. it still hurts. it hurts so fucking bad sometimes but i know you're in a better place. i love and miss you, always.
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Everything At Once
Non-Fictionit's weird, letting out this story. but the only way i wanna do this is through writing, not speaking. so, just read on to learn why sometimes, emotions either make a monster of people or being out the best in them. i'm here for anyone who needs the...
