Mysterious Seduction

XXVI. Plans

She was acting differently, Byron noted.

Most often he would find her looking conflicted.

Was there something he ought to be prepared for?

-Above and Below

*****

Emma realized she made the right choice when she saw the confusion in Samuel's eyes and she could not feel a tinge of regret. She hated that she wasted his time, that she made him wait. But she knew she would live in regret if she ever let this go on for long.

"Why, Emma?" was his deadpan question.

Emma blinked away more tears and wiped her face with the back of her hand. "I cannot love you more than a friend, Samuel."

A quiet anger flashed before his eyes. He deserved to be angry and she deserved his fury, she thought.

"I do not care what happened that night. I care not if anything happened between us."

He frowned. "Will you not even ask me?"

She shook her head. "No. The very fact that I cannot remember is enough." She squared her shoulders. "My mind is set. Fret not about my brothers. I will have a word with them."

Samuel ran his fingers through his hair as he took a lungful of air. And when he met Emma's eyes, he said, "Can you hold this off for a bit longer?" he asked. "Em, we might be facing a great tragedy—for your family and I—if we do not find out what the Trilbys are planning. Perhaps you are merely too stressed out. I have been pushing you into a direction you never wanted to take in the first place. It must have put a strain on you and I apologize." He took a desperate step toward her. "Em, we are close. We cannot give up now. Give this another chance, please. And when you still believe we must tell Margaret, I will not contradict. And then you can think about us again."

Emma started to shake her head, staring at him in disbelief.

Samuel pleaded further, saying, "We ought to keep an eye on Wynne. He must have found something here—something they could use against us. Otherwise, why would he leave on short notice? And if you think I would even consider letting anything happen to Fiona, you are wrong. I was merely suggesting—"

"Do you hear yourself, Sam?" Emma shouted, desperate for him to hear her. "What have become of you? How did you let this obsession get to you? The Samuel I knew—my friend—would never agree to the Samuel before my eyes today."

He stood there, gaping at her, as though he could not believe what he was seeing or hearing. "Emma, this has always been me. Perhaps it is you who changed. You have always been brave, Emma. You never saw everything like everyone else did."

"Then you do not know me well enough," she said, voice shaking. "Samuel, I wish you start to realize, as have I, that we cannot have everything we want." She turned her back to him. "I need to be alone. I have things to pack. I am leaving and wait for the Theobald party to end. And then I will tell Margaret whether you wish it or not."

Emma expected him to argue further, but she flinched when she heard the door crash close.

With tearful eyes, she proceeded to pack her things.

She had to go to the only place where she could not be bothered.

*****

Samuel gulped empty the last drop of brandy.