ok so Jared's like real gay btw if you dont like cussing or like depression (not a lot of depression but still) I suggest you not read.
anyway I hope yall enjoy
Okay don't get me wrong I do love Jared but after hanging out with Zoe a little more after the "incident" I'm starting to realize I still like her. By no means am saying that I am going to break up with him I'm hoping the crush I have on her will sort of disappear. I'm my happiest self with Jared but... I don't know anymore.
I want to ask Jared for help, but what if he gets angry or upset. He has started to get a little jealous when I hang out with her. I really don't want to talk to my therapist about it I don't enjoy talking to him knowing he's being paid to listen to me and then he pretends to solve my problems.
I told my mom about me and Jared the next day when I came home. She's completely fine with it and told me she thought we were already dating. Maybe she can help.
"MOM?" I yelled. I really hope she knows what to do because I sure don't. I mean what if he wants to break up I really hope he doesn't because I'll-
"Are you okay?" My mom said. I didn't realize she had come upstairs so I'm sitting on my bed freaking out whilst she's probably assuming the worst.
"I have a problem and I need your help, please."
"Of course, what is it sweetheart?" Oh god please know the answer.
"So you know I'm dating Jared at the moment and I used to date Zoe Murphy. Well, I think I still like Zoe. ImeanIdefinitelylikeJaredmorebut- but I don't know if this crush I have on her will go away. I'm so happy when I'm with Jared and I don't want to loose that. I definitely don't want to break up with him I'm pretty sure I love him. But then Zoe comes along. I don't like her as much but what will Jared think? I don't want to hurt his feelings but I want to ask him what he thinks. What if we break up? I don't want us to break up mom. But what if? What if I tell him and he takes it the wrong way? What If he takes it out on Zoe? GREAT NOW I'M CRYING!" I said collapsing into my mothers arms. "Maybe I'm overthinking this. Maybe he'll help. I just- I don't- I don't know." At this point I'm full on sobbing, I have no clue what I'm going to do.
"Evan sweetheart Jared's a nice kid I'm sure you'll figure something out. How about I make some hot coco and when you're read invite Jared over to talk." I nodded and sat up on my bed. My mom always knows how to make me feel better... Hot coco. I decide I'll text Jared now.
E: Hey wanna come over?
J: When?
E: now I guess
J: ok cool ill see u in a bit
E: ok let me tell my mom
J: Okie dokie see ya
E: see ya
"Mom can you make another because Jared is coming?"
"Yeah sure tell me how it goes afterwards."
"Will do." I said. I'm so scared. What will he say? I need to stop worrying. Everything will be all
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I see Jared walk into my room and I give him his hot chocolate as he sits on the bed next to me. "Hot coco, what happened? Because if you start crying then I'll start crying and then you'll cry more..." He said. Oh goes here goes nothing.
"You have to promise not to get upset." I told him and he nodded in response. "So I think I might still like Zoe. Not as much as I used to though." He took a deep breath. "And I don't want you to be upset because I'm hoping it will blow over in a few days. I do not want this relationship to end." I looked him in the eyes and he nodded signaling for me to continue. "But, I wanted to tell you because I want you to be able to trust me. Jared I'm pretty darn sure I'm in love with you and I don't ever want this to end. So is everything okay?"
"Yeah, but three things one thank you for saying something because now I can say this, Zoe likes you. Two I really do trust you Evan, I really do. And three I would be lying if I said this doesn't make me a little worried and I also really hope it blows over because I love you and I don't know if I can stand you two being together again. But if knowing that Zoe likes you back causes you to want to leave me I understand."
I don't think he understands how much I want to stay with him so I kiss him. Short but sweet. "No Jared I want to stay with you, I promise."
"Okay just please tell me honestly, why? I mean haven't you liked her since like 6th grade? Why would you still choose me?"
"I guess I just didn't see what was right in front of me." Stupid and cheesy I know but still.
"You're so fucking stupid." He laughed laying down on my chest.
