Saviors [A SVU and Bensler Fan Fic]

[Chapter Ninety-Nine]

Meredith and I were released on the Wednesday after she was born. We both got the all clear, and minus a very tiny rash that I had, we were both great. Christopher was having a hard time going to school that day because he wanted to be home to greet his baby sister, but I told him she wasn't going anywhere and he'd see her as soon as he gets home.

I sat in the back and gently caressed Meredith's cheek the whole way home because I was still so amazed by everything little thing about her. From her pretty much bald head to how tiny her feet are.

"Here we are." Elliot smiled, as he pulled Cynthia's car to a stop in our driveway. We were going to get a new van once we get the insurance money from our totaled car.

"I'm so happy to be home and not have to be pregnant anymore," I spoke, and Elliot chuckled.

"I'm glad you aren't pregnant anymore either." He grinned.

We got out of the car and Elliot carried Meredith's carrier into the house. Once inside, we headed upstairs and Elliot changed Meredith, while I changed into pajamas. I took my necklace off and opened up my mother's old jewelry box to put my necklace in when Elliot came into the room with Meredith in his arms.

"Whoa, are those our best friend necklaces?" Elliot smiled, as he saw me tuck my necklace into its spot.

"Yeah." I smiled, as I gently pulled the two dog tags from the box, and that's when I realized there was a false bottom, surprisingly. I grabbed the box and walked over to the bed and sat down, while Elliot sat down beside me. I reached in and pulled a small envelope from the box and unfolded it.

Before I could even open up the envelope, Meredith started to whimper.

"I think she's hungry." He spoke, and I sighed. I sat the box down before taking my daughter into my arms.

[*]

Having a newborn and a little boy was hard. Meredith hated to be in her bassinet when she was awake. She only wanted to be laying in our arms and cuddling. Chris didn't really like that because it meant someone was always holding her and not loving on him as we used to be able to do.

"Momma, can you hold me?!" Christopher yelled as he came running into the nursery where I was nursing Meredith. Meredith wasn't bothered by it at first, but when Chris came over to pull me away, she started to cry.

"Chris, baby, please," I begged, as I shifted and put my shirt back in place as I went to comfort Meredith.

"I wanna cuddle, Momma! Please." Chris begged as he started to cry too. Elliot and Serena both heard the crying and came upstairs.

"I'll take her, Liv. You take on Chris." Elliot spoke, as he took Meredith into his arms and rocked her slowly back and forth. I grabbed my son's hand and led him from the room as he cried. I couldn't pick him up because it's only been two days since Meredith was born and I was still supposed to take it easy.

"Baby, I'm so sorry." I breathed, as I ran my fingers through his messy red curls.

"I didn't mean to make Mere sad!" Chris exclaimed, and I frowned.

"Love, don't worry. Okay? She just got her dinner disturbed. It's okay. She loves you still." I spoke, and he nodded slowly. He wiped the tears from his cheek as he swallowed hard.

"Can we cuddle?" He asked, and I nodded.

"Of course. Being a big brother must be hard. I know that when I found out I had a sister, it was hard."

I shifted back against my pillows and I pulled Chris towards me. He rested his head against my shoulder as I rubbed his back gently.

"It'll get better, Chris." I breathed, and he nodded.

"I hope so. I love her and all, but please still spend time with me, okay?"

"Okay." I breathed, before leaning down to kiss his curls gently.

[*]

Elliot carried Meredith into our bedroom and then put Chris to bed. Serena was asleep in the spare room we had for foster kids because she was having troubles since her arm was broken and needed some help.

"So, is he good now?" Elliot asked, and I nodded as I got changed again.

"Yeah. He's just not used to having a baby sister." I spoke. I pulled my shirt on before going over and leaning down to kiss Meredith's forehead. Once I was back in bed, Elliot handed me the envelope that I had sat to the side early because Meredith was hungry.

"Do you know what is in there?" Elliot asked, and I shook my head.

"No. I don't really remember anything important that she would hide in the false bottom of her jewelry box." I sighed. 

There was some handwriting on the front, but it was smeared. I broke the seal and pulled the paper from it. I looked at it for a long moment before opening it slowly.

Meredith whimpered a bit, and Elliot got up to check on her and I started to read the messy writing. That's when I realized that this was my letter from Serena. I was 13 when I got this, but I never opened it up because I didn't want to hear her lies. But now it's here and Serena is sleeping in my house.

Olivia,

I do not know why I'm writing to you, but I guess maybe it's because I'm sober right now. I'm in rehab and I'm trying to get better. I want a life and I want to be able to see you again, and possibly be another mother to you.

It's been 13 years since I had you, and 7 years since I saw you last. I'm sorry, and that's all I can really say. I doubt you will even read this, but I'm sorry for hurting you. For treating you like crap. For leaving you alone since you were two. I should've tried harder, I should've tried to be different from my mother. I love you, Olivia. I hope you can love me someday too.

Serena

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