Only You

Riley

I wake up in the middle of the night, 2am.
I groan and sit up to check my phone. No word from Cash. I sigh and put my phone down.
Honestly why is he mad at me? What did I do?
I don't understand Cash sometimes. Maybe he's mad cause he could tell I'm not that enthusiastic about him leaving again? Maybe he's just in a mood? I don't know. And he always gets like this. He pulls me close and then he pushes me away and I hate it! But I love that man so much that i just deal with it. It's whatever I guess. I huff and lay back down.
Just... why can't he be real with me? Why can't he just... I don't know. I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.

I wake up the next morning around 10 immediately checking my phone hoping Cash got ahold of me. No but Ricky did.
I sigh and call him..

"Good morning Riley" he answers

"Hello, uhm what's goin on?" I ask

"You're gonna be working on making music okay? I'm gonna make you a star just like I did Cash. And if you're lucky a performance of your very own" he says convincing me.

My bones chill and I freeze, I'd love that but..
"Yes" I spit out high pitched like a little kid.
Oh what have I done?

"Excellent, you have your own studio it's not the same building as Cash though" he says

"Okay" i reply quick

"Awesome. Thank you sweet pea" he hangs up.

I bite my lip and take a deep breath. Chill Riley chill. I take a deep breathe and call Cash.
It rings for a few minutes and finally he answers

"Cash!" I say excited

"What." He says sounding so, so cold.
My bones freeze again and I just forget what I was gonna say.

"Are you okay?" I ask

He sighs into the phone "I'm great"

I shake my head and roll my eyes "uh huh"

It's quiet for a minute.

"Well I was just calling to make sure you're fine.." I say biting my lip hoping he'll say something

"Yep" he says

I wait for him to say something but he doesn't

"Bye Cash" I say annoyed and hang up.

Fucking prick. I stand up and head into the kitchen and join Audrey at the counter.
She looks at me and hands me a cup of coffee.
Her puffing on a cigarette.
"Glad to see you home" she exhales the smoke.
I sip the coffee and nod. I get up and look in the cupboards for something to eat.
"Yeah" I say rummaging through things.  I grab bread and make toast two pieces for myself. I look in the fridge for butter. Audrey still smoking her cigarette. I sit down next to Audrey and sigh.
"Honestly I don't understand Cash" I say frustrated, she looks at me.
"He's... Okay so yesterday he found out he's going on tour for god only knows how long.. meanwhile I'm recording while he's gone.. so basically he's leaving me once again. And honestly Audrey I don't know if I would be sad or not. I'm so used to him being gone and.. I'm not even surprised but damn... he's good at convincing me he'd change, cause he never fucking will" I say trying not to lose my chill.
"Riley you always go through these things with him. Why do you let him do this to you? He's a fucking dick and all he does is play you" she says feeling sorry, I don't even scoff or anything because I know she right. I bite my lip.
"Whatever.. it's Cash. He'll be gone so.." I shrug looking away. The toaster pops my toast up and I get up and eat my toast.
Me and Audrey talk some more about random things and she brightens up my mood. After a few movies on Netflix I get up and go get dressed. I go into my room and check my phone it's 2:30pm I see a missed call from Slim and call him real quick.

"Hey Riley, So.. pretty boy here is all fucked up yo and he need to be picked up" he sighs

"Are you kidding me?" I say annoyed.

"Yeah... yo I'm sorry Ri, I know y'all goin through shit but I ain't know who else to call" he says sounding sorry, I nod.

"No, no it's fine I'll be there soon" I say

"Okay, thanks Riley see you soon"

We hang up and i slip on jeans and a shirt with my boots. I brush my hair and put my coat on.
"I gotta go pick up drama" I say grabbing my keys from the hook.
"Don't bring him here" Audrey yells back
"I'm dropping him off home and coming back" I say. She laughs "You better" I nod at her and head out my apartment and take the elevator down to the lobby.
I make my way to the parking lot and into my car. I have a dark blue Mini Cooper. I start my car and but my Aux cord in my iPhone and play my Spotify playlist on shuffle. Song playing Better Off by Ariana Grande. I get on the freeway and head to the east side. I cruise and listen to my music smoking a blunt on the way. I finally get to Slims house.
I park my car on the street and sit inside my car for a minute and prepare myself for the drama. I finally take a deep breath and head into the house.
I see Slim on the couch and he stands up fast blocking my way.
"Hey! Uh.. you know he's fine now uhm... maybe I overreacted. You can go if you want" he says blocking my way more, i look at Slim letting him know not to fuck with me. He puts his arms down and moves out my way. I head down the hall and walk into what used to be Cash room and sure shit i see him and he's got a naked girl passed out next to him and bottles. I shake my head annoyed and I kick his foot
"Get up Cash" I say, he opens his eyes and looks at me and jumps up.
"Riley I—" I don't even care, "Come on" I say and walk away. I head back the living room and wait for Cash. Slim passes me a little bag of weed and looks at me saying sorry I smile and say it's okay, taking the weed. Cash walks into the living room and he looks like shit. I roll my eyes and we walk out Slims says bye and head to my car. I start my car and turn my radio down.

"Riley, I'm really sorry" he says quietly
I ignore him and just drive. He sighs.
"Well clearly you can't get your shit together so" I say. He leans back in the seat and looks out the window.
"I'm sorry"

The whole ride is silent and I get to his plaza.
"Get out" I say looking at him serious. He scoffs, "Riley come on" he says,
"Go" I don't wanna be around him. It's 5:40 and I wanna go home, it's already dark out.
Fuckin Cleveland weather and time I swear.. makes me tired very early.
"Seriously get out Cash" I say he gives me a sad look and gets out slamming my door.
I watch him walk out and disappear in the parking lot. A part of me wants to take him home with me and make endless love to him and be with him, keep him safe and be that man I know and love. I want to forget about all this fame shit and who he is now. I want it to be us again.. like how we really can be. I tear up but sniff it back.
I reeve out the parking lot and head back on the road. I decide to go to a bar.
I drive for a few minutes till I'm on my street and go to my local bar I go to. I park my car and head inside.
I take a seat at the bar the bartender my friend looks at me and smiles.
"Hey Riley, what's up ?" His names Kevin.
"I'll be better when I'm drunk" I say taking my coat off. He nods.
"I'll take a s tall glass of PBR and a shot of my favorite boy Jack" I say resting my chin on my hand. He smiles and gets me my drinks and I pay. I hang out for a bit and drink a little bit till I'm buzzed but enough to still function. An hour or so passed.
"Hey Kev, I'm gonna head out. Thank you!" I say smiling he smiles back
"Welcome girl" he says, he's one my favorite bartenders. I leave the bar and get into my car.

I get to my apartment and throw my things in my room and sit on the couch and hang out with Audrey a bit and smoke some weed with her. After awhile I go to my room.
I call Cash one more time but he doesn't answer. I roll my eyes and just plug it in.
I swear I love Cash but I don't know what to do. Hopefully all will be fine soon.. before he leaves me again. I sigh and roll my eyes. I feel myself tearing up, we can't be going through this again. I'm sick of losing him and sick of the drama. I just want him here and I just want him to love me. Fuck fame. Fuck it. But it's his life and his dream.. so if he leaves again. Then I gotta either let him go for good or find a way to make it work. I realize I'm crying and roll over to my side and hug my pillow, sobbing quietly into it. I don't know what to do...
I let the tears fall and close my eyes till eventually I get tired of crying and fall asleep.