i always did this thing where i'd look at you and you'd try to guess what i was thinking, to read my expression as i stared into your beautiful eyes. you'd even ask me what i was thinking about. i did this for multiple reasons.
first and foremost, i just wanted to kiss you. you're so stunning and wonderful; i couldn't help but want to just kiss you forever. but i didn't like initiating things because i was scared of judgement. so i would wait for you to kiss me first.
another reason was that i just wanted to remember those moments forever. i wanted to always know what you looked like and how it felt to just be in that moment, with you, like nothing else in the entire world mattered. it felt like time stopped when i looked at you, and i just wanted to soak it all in so that when the clock started ticking again, it wouldn't fade. to be honest, it's kinda worked because i have very vivid memories of staring right into your eyes while sitting in the car. i regret this decision now just because it's a tad painful, but now i know how to really savor a moment so lesson learned i guess
the other reason i stared into your eyes is because of something terribly stupid that i wish i absolutely never imagined. it's ridiculously cheesy. you know that ed sheeran lyric "i see my future in your eyes" well i saw mine in yours. sounds so stupid when i think about it now although honestly i could still see a world where it somehow worked out; unfortunately that is not reality but whatever. anyway, to be more clear, i could see us going to college and working through long distance together. i saw us living together in our own home, with kids, (even though i've never wanted kids, but i know i'd probably have some for you.) something that truly never ages (by appearance, anyway) is your eyes and by truly seeing them i could imagine you growing up and getting old and being right next to me forever. insane, huh? because i know for a fact that you didn't even think for a second that you would have a future with me.
YOU ARE READING
messages i'll never send
Dragostei fell in love. it didnt end the best way. recently i've been wanting to message him, but i know it isn't a good idea so i write things out in my notes on my phone and leave them there for a day, telling myself that if i still want to send after 24...
