Same Mistakes *sequel for D.D.*

Chapter 17 -Flashback Friday-

So I've been thinking that on some Fridays I'd give you guys a flashback on this story or The Lilac (make sure to check it out as well.) It'll give you guys a little more background on the characters. Hope you are ready.

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" William was like a brother to me. He was the star of the football team, had a beautiful girlfriend who he wanted to purpose to,"

Nellie gasped and began to cry harder.

" I guess it was a misfortune that some ass hat had to take him away, but that's the reality of things. People get drunk and decided that its okay to go and drive when

clearly they know what they are doing. 

I'm not going to blame the guy because its life and shit happens, ya know? But William told me that if he ever had to transfer to a college farther away or he was hurt, that he wanted me to keep an eye out on little sis. which I will because I'm going to respect his wishes. Run to the other side my friend. We'll miss you. Goodbye." Kyle threw some rose petals into the hole where Williams body was going to remain forever.

Everybody stood and left. Mom and dad left side by side. Dad held her as she tried not to scream as the men put William down in the massive hole.

Kyle pulled me to the side and held me in his arms. I didn't cry though.  I haven't cried. I told myself that I'm not allowed to cry. this was my fault and I shouldn't be sad that I got drunk and needed him to take me home. I should have just stayed home and watched a movie with him.

"Stop. Claire, please. " Kyle pulled me away and stroked my cheek.

"I have to go. You know, got some stuff to take care of and I'm not coming back to Texas. I'm giving you my number. I won't change it or anything, call me but only if you are in some deep, deep shit. understand?" he placed the paper in my hand and closed it around the tiny paper.

"Yeah." I gave Kyle a kiss on the cheek and wished him luck.

"Good bye, Claire bear. Be a good girl, don't go running into trouble just to find me. I love you." He turned away and disappeared. Kyle never returned, not when I was leaving for college, not on my birthday, nãda. I suffered through all the shit for months. My parents wanted to get me help by sending me to doctors or hospitals but nobody could help me. I always remained quiet and only responded to the nurses with "yes." or "no." I didn't want to speak. I felt like if I did then I'd cry. I can't cry over something I did that ended up ending someone's life. I had thought about calling Kyle everyday to just have someone to vent to. I just couldn't ever do it. I didn't eat much or sleep much. That past year was pretty much a blur. It was all upside down. I don't remember what we learned in biology or what my friends talked about at lunch.

I was lost and confused. I did call Kyle eventually but he didn't pick up. I left messages just venting telling him that I needed somebody to talk too about the pain and the guilt. He never returned my calls because it wasn't something he could fix. He was in hiding and I knew why. Its the reason he ran and didn't turn back.

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" Kyle, its me, Claire. its been almost two years now since I've seen you. I know I always call around this time of year and cry and you never answer. But this time I just wanted to call you and see how you were doing. Call me back if you can. Bye."

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"Hey, William. Just came to check on you. I wish I could say that things are good but I'm never quite sure if they are. I moved to LA a while ago and then I met this guy at the café, his name is John. We've been going out for almost six months.  He's not around much because he hangs out with his friends, I'm fine with that. I just kind of wished he made time for me. "

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"John, babe. I'm home. I got some dinner on my way here from work. The rudest lady was in line and- OH MY FUCKING GOD."

John was laying on top of another girl completely naked. The girl was grasping at my sheets. Her legs were wrapped around him while he pressed himself against her body. John pulled out of her body and sat up beside her covering the girl with the sheet.

"GET OUT! GET OUT RIGHT NOW YOU WHORE!" I yelled and screamed and the burning sensation of so much hate was burning inside of me. The girl slipped her panties back on and grabbed her stuff. She tried to walk past me but I tackled her sore ass to the floor. I didn't even care if she was naked. I just wanted to beat the living hell out of her. I couldn't think of her name; I didn't care about it. I just wanted her to feel pain. John pulled me off her while the girl bolted out of the apartment.

"How could you?! how could you?! why!? why?" I began to sob on the floor in a ball of pain while he let go of me and placed his clothes back on.

"I'm so sorry Claire. I couldn't, you didn't want to... with me. I'm sorry. " He cried lightly as he sat on the edge of our bed.

"I'm leaving. Right now!" I stood up and regained the remaining strength I had. I grabbed a suitcase and a few laundry basket to shove my stuff in.

"No, Claire, you can't! I won't let you. " He grabbed my wrist while I was trying to shove my clothes in the suitcase.

"Let go of me!" I pulled away from him. I gathered what I could of clothes and chargers. Anything that belonged to me.

"Claire, I swear to god if you leave me I'll hurt you!" He ran after me as I ran in and out of the house shoving stuff in the back of my trunk.

"You already did! Leave me alone."

"Where will you go!?" He yelled at me as fastened my seatbelt.

"Somewhere far away from your ugly ass."

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It wasn't meant to be. It wasn't. Nothing ever was. I didn't cry as well. it was all just more pain. I didn't call Kyle because I knew it wasn't important. I knew I wasn't important and that nobody would want  a damaged girl. that's what I was.

a damaged, broken, soulless, girl.