Chapter 16 - Extreme Croquet, Not The Potato Kind
It was just beginning to drizzle when Eduardo turned onto my street. Up until that moment, I'd had no doubt that he'd be staying with me while I spent a few hours in the real world, or as I like to the liquor store. Parked in the stores driveway was Jaffa cake Jake complete with abs. Jake Black stood behind his father's wheelchair. Plaid shirt open exposing his manly, toned, ripped, washboard, sexy, chest. (Sorry I got lost in abs, I mean thought) Chief hob knob’s face was impassive as stone. Eduardo's low voice was furious.
"This is cwossing the line."
"Oh give it a rest, they just want some liquor too. They’re keeping Sharlie Company tonight; the windex is down the back you’ll have to palm it off the cleaning trolley. Aisle 3." I said calmly, breezing past the three of them, heaving a trolley of alcohol (complete with wonky wheel) erratically in front of me as if I was smuggling drugs across the border.
Eduardo just nodded, answering Chief hob knobs’ gaze through the rain with narrowed eyes.
"Let me deal with this," I suggested. Eduardo's black glare turned me on; at last I was getting some kind of reaction. “You, trolley to car. You two into shop, Sharlie will be getting cranky for his afternoon fix.” I demanded, pointing to each in turn. “Now, all of you PUSH off, ha ha ha.”
To my surprise, they agreed. "That's pwobably best. Be caweful, though. The child has no idea."
I bridled a little at the word child. "Jake is not that much younger than I am and I’m pretty sure that he is a man, judging from his abs. If you want I should go and check. I don’t mind." I sighed and put my hand on the door handle, Eduardo scooped me into his arms in very 1940’s dip and smooched the hell out of me.
He smiled the crooked smile that I loved. "I'll be back soon, I’ll just put these in the caw and be back." he promised. His eyes flickered back to Jake. Chief Hob Knobs' face was no longer impassive, and his hands clutched at the arm rests of his chair.
"Soon," I stressed, “that tequila won’t get drunk without me, and neither will I without it! Whoops!”
"Hey, Chief hob knobs. Hi, Jake." I greeted them as cheerfully as I could manage up upside down. Yes, I had tripped over again; a sure thing the alcohol was doing its job.
"Sharlie's gone for the day I hope you haven't been waiting long. Hi abs, I mean Jake."
"Not long," Chief hob knobs said in a subdued tone. His black eyes were piercing. "I just wanted to bring this up." He indicated a brown paper sack resting in his lap.
"Thanks," I said, “but we don’t watch porn in this house and if it’s any S&M gimp suit in there I will roll up off the porch. And don’t even think about bringing any goat, centaurs or pony’s. And gerbils and tube are not allowed within 10 feet of each other and my room is off limits, so is the kitchen. I make my cocktails in there.”
"You'll want to put it in the fridge," Chief Hob Knobs noted as he handed me the package.
"Thanks," I said
For your entertainment Jake spent the next half hour, showing me his work out routine and his own version of the full Monty in the local bar, The Duck Drunk. We had just reached the crucial stage when Eduardo rang.
“Take it off, take it off! Hello?”
“I will be swinging by The Duck Dwunk in two minutes, if you’we weady to go?”
“Hold on, baby oil, baby oil! Could you make it ten minutes, the show isn’t finished yet and I want to see if Jake Jr has abs too. How’d you know I was here?”
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The Emo, The Sparkly Vampire and the Biscuit.
Fiksi Penggemar"Your skin is... pale white, and ice cold. Your eyes change color... and sometimes you speak like - like you're from a different time. You never eat or drink anything; you don't go into the sunlight. I know what you are." "Go on, say it." "You're em...
