Determination|| Remus lupin

chapter sixteen

The group sat and watched as Mrs Potter gently tended to the cuts Sirius had sustained. He hid the bruises, and the scars so well at school, they wondered why they hadn't cottened on sooner. The way he had promised to visit James' family many a time, but didn't always turn up. The way that after third year he had become so body shy and hidden his back from view. The way he got nervous on the train home. The nightmares he had often get, sometimes so bad they couldn't wake him and had to let it run it's course.

James was first to speak, he hadn't left Sirius' side since they had gone to Grimmauld place. "Why didn't you tell us?" His voice was barely a whisper. None of the others could dream of having the bond the two shared, best friends, as close as brothers. "Sirius we could have helped you, done something, instead of watching you suffer."

Sirius looked down at his hands, wincing slightly as Mrs Potter examined yet another series of bruises, they resembled a fist, one that held rings. It had been a miracle the skin had not broken at the hit, but there were other places, on his stomach, on the side of his face, where he had not been so lucky. "I... I didn't want you to think less of me."

"Pads, we would never think less of you, no matter what happens, no matter what you may have done, we will always be your friends." James looked genuinely upset and put his hand on the boys shoulder. "We care about you, and we don't want you to get hurt."

"Sirius, if you told us, we could have... We could have made sure you didn't go back there." Remus added.

"No, they're, they're my family, I have to go back." Sirius shook his head at once.

"But you hate them." Peter pointed out.

"They're still my family. And I can't abandon Reg, I don't know what they'll make him do. I heard... I heard talk of his followers." Sirius sighed, his eyes filling with tears. They had never seen him like this before. Ariana, who was sat in front of him, took his hands.

"Whatever happens next, what ever you must do, we do together." She told him, he managed a weak smile for her.

"Thanks Arie." He told her, she sighed.

"You're hurting."

"I know."

^^^
"After her!" Ariana picked up speed as her captors spotted her escape attempt and tried to get her back. 'Go to Albus' her mother had said, but she had no idea whom Albus was. She knew he was a relative, she just wasn't sure how they were related, nor where to find him. She had a feeling that he was her uncle, but that wasn't helping her try to remember why she was to find him.

She had been there as long as she could remember, in the dungeons, this strange man asking her questions. 'We're friends you and I, you can trust me. It's just me, just Tom.' He had been pleasant enough, but one of those people you couldn't quite trust, despite how charming they are. She didn't know anything of course, but he seemed to talk to her quite a bit. He told her of his struggle to get his ideals across to the rest of the wizarding world. And when she escaped, he was in the team that chased after her.

They caught her, of course they did, and he held nothing back in showing his anger. The curse, the cruciatus curse, it hurt so much, she had screamed blue murder, alerting a muggle police man, who had entered the scene, allowing her to get away. They had killed him, she had heard his cry as the green light hit him, but she didn't stay around to see what happened next, she had to get away.

She had to get away.

Ariana awoke in a cold sweat. That memory did not crop up in her dreams very often, and it chilled her to the core to have seen it then. She now knew whom Albus was of course, but the lasting feeling of the curse never really left her and washed over her as the last of the memory faded from her eyes. Getting up and carefully opening the door, she left the room and padded down to the living room, where the dying embers of the fire told her that someone was already there.

Sirius.

"Hey Arie." He greeted as she sat beside him. "Nightmare?"

"Yes, how about you?" She questioned, he was pale, shaking and looked as though he had been crying.

"Nightmare, and... it hurts Arie." It was a weakness, a vulnerability he did not usually show, she could tell he was scared and that struck fear into her own heart.

"Would you like to talk about it?" She asked him gently, he thoughtbabout it for a moment, before nodding.

"I'm so scared they'll come looking for me. What if they hurt any of  you? I'll never forgive myself." He told her. She linked his arm with hers and rested her head on his shoulder.

"The future is always an uncertainty, and they will not be able to know where you are. If worse comes to worse, we will figure something out." She told him wisely, he smiled at her.

"You always know what to say." He laughed lightly, she smiled, seeing his spirits raised.

"I'm glad you feel better Sirius." She told him, he looked at her.

"What about you? Do you want to talk about it?" He asked gently. She sighed.

"It was the day I escaped." She told him, he nodded, indicating she didn't have to elaborate if she didn't need to. "Each time it crops up in my nightmares, I still feel the cruciatus curse." She explains, he rubbed her arm comfortingly.

"I get how you feel." He told her, she smiled at him, glad to have someone to share her pain with.

After talking until the early hours of the morning, the two fell asleep, found later that morning, by the others, confused to see the tear-stained cheeks and tired smiles of the sleeping pair.

Both felt better after sharing their problems, and the others would never quite know what they talked about that night.