Hate To Love You (Enemies To Lovers Forbidden Love)

Chapter One

I turned the music up on my stereo, trying to drown out my mother's annoying yelling. I already knew what it was that she was bitching about. She was always on my ass about every single thing from me fighting at school,  to how my grades continued to suffer. 

My molars ground together as I bit back the words I truly wanted to scream back at her. She was starting to get on my last damn nerve.  Why the fuck she thought talking about anything with me would make it better I didn't know? 

There were very few things that helped me get through this shit storm called life, and they were women, fighting, and drinking. 

And every single time she brought up all my wrong, doings, it only made me want to do them more. To disobey all her wishes and see what she would say next. It was like knowing the fire would burn you if you stuck your fingers into the flames, but doing it anyway because it might hurt less than last time.

I liked pain...no I didn't like it, I loved it. I got off on it. 

"Royal!" Her voice was stern and closer and I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

"I warned you. I told you what would happen if I got another phone call from the school saying you were fighting. What the hell is wrong with you, son?" My mother finished just as she barreled through my bedroom door.

 I took in her dismantled appearance. Her dark brown hair which was usually flowing freely down her back, was in a messy bun, her face had worry lines on it, and her deep blue eyes had unshed tears in them. This was my fault, all my fault, and even knowing that I knew I could never change. That I would never change.  I sighed into the air with frustration. 

Fucking Christ. My heart slammed against my ribcage reminding me that the organ did beat after all. 

I almost felt bad about what I had done, and about what I would continue to do, but... I couldn't allow myself to think that way. Not when it would happen again and again repeatedly for months to come. The complaints about it wouldn't change my mind. I growled out loud showing her my irritation while meeting her angry stare with one that said, who really cares?

Not me. Not Royal Black. I had more important shit to worry about.My gaze slid down to my bruised and battered knuckles. The way I felt after a fight was un-compareable to anything else. Thearpy, talking the issues out, fucking women, drinking until you passed out, nothing made the pain, and anger go away like fighting did. 

Even now, the mere thought of bones crunching beneath my fingers, and the burn that filled my lungs as I moved out of the way from an upper cut...it consumed me. 

"If this is the same shit you always bring up, I don't want to talk about it. I've heard it half a dozen times now. You don't want me to fight; you don't want me to get hurt. Blah, blah, blah," I mocked, shoving the same words she had said to me time and time again back at her.

I was going to do what I wanted either way. I was a fucking asshole like that. There was no other way to describe myself. 

I continued on, "You don't want me to become a criminal. You don't want me to ruin my future." I air quoted her words.

"I'm going to do whatever I want, no matter how much you tell me you don't want me to. It would be easier if you just saved yourself the time and breath and walked away." I shrugged my shoulders, pretending like I didn't care that she was hurt by my words or what I was doing. Still, even I could see the sting of what I was doing like a slap across the face to her.

"Royal," she choked out my name, and actual tears started falling from her eyes. Yeah, I couldn't do this with her again. It was difficult being the hard, cold, asshole that I was. Worst of all, because it wasn't my mom's fault that I was this way, she just ended up having to take the brunt of it all. And I hated that I hurt her as much as I did. That I pushed her again, and again.