Lost in you

Not Everyone can be happy

"Mommy your going the wrong way, the house is that way" I say pointing in the other direction. She turns to look at me but then turns back. She walks forward onto the train tracks "Mommy I don't like this game any-" I get cut off to the sound of a train horn. Lights blinking from very far away. They get closer and closer. "Mommy! Move out the way!" I cry out but it seems like she's tuning the world out.. she's tuning me out the train horn gets louder and louder as I try to run and push her out of the way.

I wake up clenching a fist full of blanket. It was just a dream Adrianna, no need to worry it was all just a dream. It's actually a reliving past scene, my mother committed suicide when I was 4 years old. I still remember some of the scenes, some just pop into my head. Me and my sister was with her that night. She took us out to get ice cream and we had a girls night out. She told us to wear black dresses so we would look grown up and more... more.. dammit what was the word she used again... ah prestigious. She told us we were going to a Waffle House with jelly beans, instead we were lead to our demises. We heard the honking from miles away instead of us getting scared she made it as a game.. who can hear and see what from miles away.

We didn't even finish the game. We didn't even finish the god damn game. She said it will be 5 more minutes until we move again, a pair of head lights flash from behind us and it's my dad. He tried to get into the door but it was locked. He didn't want to break the window and hurt anyone. He pleaded and begged even shouted, he never shouted like that ever, not once has he shouted that loud. He elbowed the window, pieces of glass shards landing on my lap. He carried me out through the window and setting far away from the car and hurriedly ran so he could get everyone out.

He didn't make it to the car..

A few days later we had the funeral for my mom and sister. As much grandma wanted to blame my dad she didn't.. she couldn't.. as she knew it wasn't his fault he gave her everything but it didn't make her happy. Not everyone can be happy. He had lost someone he thought he knew very well, he lost someone he was only able to know for 6 years. I cried and cried yearning for my mom and sister but I knew deep down they were never coming back...

I can't go back to sleep after a nightmare like that. I pull my phone from the charger and check my Instagram. 165k, I've made multiple instagrams I don't want to be out there with so many followers, I just want to be me.

I guess you guys may call me the "popular bitch" in school I don't really see it as that.. I see it more as your my friend end of story, except for kelandra, she doesn't like her name so we just call her keke. I take a quick shower so I can pick out my outfit for school. I decided I was just going to be plain Jane and wear my black tank top and black baggy sweatpants.

I drive into keke's driveway, I hope she's fucking ready I don't have time to wait for her AGAIN. I wait there for 5 minutes and I m very impatient so I decide to call her and give her a piece of my mind.
"Hel-"
I don't even wait for her to Finish "hello my ass you have 1 minute to bring your cereal box built self to the car or I'm leaving you!" I yell into the phone in the background I hear her mom and dad talking about politics so she must be in the kitchen. Keke's dad is running for mayor, he's trying to lower the crime/ gang related crimes in our city.  Surprisingly there are crimes in our city but I guess that's what happeneds. The crimes never reach our neighborhood because and I quote we are the "rich people with a silver spoon" our houses are modern, people type of houses they aren't anything special.

"Chill out I'm coming, who stuck a pipe up your ass" she says as she walks out the door. She gets into the car and puts her seatbelt on. We start driving and this bastard has the audacity to cut me off.

WARNING ROAD RAGE WILL HIT IN 3...2...

"WHO THE FUCK DOES HE THINK HE IS IM GOING TO RUN HIS LANKY ASS OFF THE ROAD" i look at his blue Sudan speeding up in a 55 lane. "We are going to follow him to his house and yell the shit out of him, you still got the fire crackers" I say to keke as she grips her seatbelt very tight.

"Girl no, take us to school or we will be late and get a detention then they will call our parents and MY DAD don't play" she says. She's right we can't be late again. We take a right into the school parking lot and I park into the shade. I get to first period and I see someone's sitting in my spot. I have anger issues and I know she don't want it so let me ask nicely.

"Excuse me your in my seat" she looks at me up and down then snickers. She turns back to her seat and tells the other girls behind her to look at me. The 3 girls behind her don't laugh and they look at her sternly. "Maybe I wasn't clear enough dodo brain" I take her stuff and push it off the table and lay my backpack on the back of the seat. "You better move before I drag whatever extensions you have left" she stands up and gets really close to my face eying me.

"Look bi-" as I was about to finish my threat the teacher walks in. The girl backs down and picks her stuff up from the floor and walks to the near back. The teacher starts the lesson on MLA formatting and how we should write essays for college, which may I remind you is in 2 years. We have 20 minutes left in class, I can't wait to get out of this boring ass class. I'm writing down my not- well I guess I'm just doodling at this point. The door creeks open and I can hear all the chair turnings just to see who it is.