far away from reality

-1 "This is Home Now"

   Moving was not my choice. If I'd had had a choice I would have chosen to stay in Chicago, living in the penthouse, while braiding Mamas hair.

    But what had happened changed everything, and I could do nothing but accept it. Mama wasn't with me anymore and I had to live my life with my grandparents now whether I liked it or not.

      I was currently in my grandmothers truck sitting in the backseat looking out the window seeing the cacti come and go. Grandma was driving and next to her was my aunt, Johanna.

    Aunt Johanna and Mama had always ben tight, so when the social worker contacted her to inform her about my mother's passing, she knew that the right thing to do was to take me under her wing.

      I can't say my mother was an angel in her teenage years, but there was always a drift in between her and her family. She liked going out with friends, having nice expensive things. and always wanted better. But the rest of her family wasn't like that. They were happy with what they had and liked where they were, maybe that's what drove mom away.

Aunt Johanna was the only one who understood her and supported her when mama left to Chicago to pursue her dreams or becoming a well known lawyer. Johanna was also there when my mother called her all the way from Chicago and let her know that she was pregnant at just 19.

   Mother was only a freshmen in college at the time and a baby to her seemed like the last thing she needed if she wanted to succeed with her new life. Yet she kept and took the best care of me, while working and studying.

   We lived in an apartment in downtown Chicago up until when Mama met her now ex boyfriend Christian Walsh. At the time I was four and feisty, and thriving from the lifestyle i was receiving. We moved into Christians Penthouse, which became my permanent home. I was enrolled into a private school where I made lots of friends. Mom was working as an attorney and was managing to give us a luxurious life.

     "Madre que despacio vas, Maneja más rápido por el amor de Dios!" Aunt Johanna said and looked over at me and smiled. "You're in ninth grade right? My Eileen y Julian are the same age. I'm sure you guys are gonna get along well!"

I gave her a small smile. I didn't know anyone here and I was glad that maybe I'd have my cousins once I got to know them. I just hoped they wouldn't feel the need to feel bad for me. I'd had enough of that from the social worker, to the judge, and all of my friends back in Chicago. Of course they weren't my friends anymore.

6:34 pm

We arrived to a small two story house in a homey neighborhood. It was painted a light pale white with orange accents and a big backyard. As we parked I saw a few cars also parked and then saw kids running around playing tag. I got out after Aunt Johanna and Grandma did but hesitated on where to go after I got my backpack.

   "Pablo ven agarrar la maleta de La Niña y súbela a su cuarto de los gemelos." Grandma said to a short muscular man. I assumed he was my uncle, Aunt Johanna's husband, and introduced myself.

   Mom had taught me how to "properly introduce yourself to be classy" when I'd first gone to the mommy-daughter brunch back in sixth grade.

    I followed Uncle Pablo into the house as Aunt Johanna and Grandma trailed behind talking about some party. As I stepped into the house I realized that it was now my home. This was where I was gonna live now. No more elevator to get to the 5th floor, no more key card to open the apartment. This was home.

    It smelt like cinnamon and I could hear music in Spanish coming from the backyard. Uncle Pablo turned and went up some stairs as I stayed behind wondering what to do. I looked around and saw a glass patio door where a lot of people sat in chairs and some talked and some ate. What was this. No this was not what I wanted right now. Not a party. Mom talked about the parties Grandma would throw for her sisters and her all the time, anything was an excuse to party she said.