The highway intersection was filled with red lights and loud noises. The ambulance arrived and the curious spectators paved way for the medics whose faces remained nonchalantly calm amidst the immense tragedy that had just occurred. The heavy rain started to pour down and the rough winds blustered mercilessly. Except for the field reporters whose job was to recount every single detail of the unfortunate event, no one dared to move or speak. The police line with the words “Do not cross” was circled around the area where the dead body lay. The yellow line prevented the crowd from getting a closer look at the car wreck
A policeman who looked stern and unmindful was talking on his walkie-talkie. The others surveyed the place and wrote down something on the paper- maybe a vital information to explain the cause of the accident. An investigator, a stout, old man, interrogated the young man who drove the ten-wheeler cargo truck with which the car, now deformed and trampled, collided into. There was much fear in the young man’s tired eyes. There was an unanswered question. What led to this tragic ending?
I sat on the curb, my aching head pushed against my cold, trembling hands,---a few steps away from the crowd and the crashed vehicle. The police did not seem to notice my presence. I saw the paramedics lifted the dead body to the ambulance. My blood rushed in. I could not make sense of anything. I wanted to cry but the rain would only wash them away. I wanted to yell but I had no voice. I wanted to run away, but my feet were weak and numb. I felt useless.
The rain stopped. The siren of the ambulance whined as its ignition went back to life. The police cars followed. The news reporters faced their cameras and fed the world with a sad news, another sad story, another sad ending.
A few moments had passed and the crowd began to get thinner. The people dispersed into different directions while I remained sitting on the wet curb of the street. The image of the dead body crossed my mind and I thought over and over how that could even be possible
Images of the past two hours flashbacked in my mind--- bringing me back to that moment when it all started until the most unexpected fateful turn of events changed my life forever.
There on the passenger seat of my car was Hannah, my one and only love. My strength, my inspiration, my life – the reason why I used to live every single day. She was silent. I knew she was in pain. I was the reason why she was hurt and there was nothing I could do to make her feel better. I could not retract every word that I said because God knew how much I meant each and every word. There it was… awkward silence, unspoken words, eternal misery.
Just a few minutes earlier, I broke the worst news of her life, “I fell out of love. I need time to be alone. I have to find myself again. Please set me free.”
Her voice begged with so much tenderness every word was like a deep stab in my heart. “Please don’t do this, Arthur. I can’t live without you. I love you.”
But my heart was as hard as a stone. I did not listen to her. Hannah cried and I hated seeing her cry. I hated myself for causing her this suffering. She did not deserve to be hurt. But what would I do? I didn’t love her the way she wanted to be loved. I changed and so did my feelings. I cared for her, but it wasn’t enough. These I explained to her as gently as I would break a fragile figurine in my bare hands.
She would only reply with soft, pleading words, “No Arthur, please. I’m begging… Give me another chance. We can work this out together…”I was insistent. I was firm. I didn’t want it anymore. I was willing to throw away five years of wonderful memories. Why? I was selfish. I was only thinking of myself. I only wanted the easiest way out.
I held her hand and she looked at me with blank eyes. She was not crying anymore. For the first time, I saw the anger in her eyes. I got scared. I looked ahead and focused on the road. I let go of her hand and gripped the steering wheel. I picked up speed.
“Why, Arthur? What have I done? Haven’t I loved you enough?” her words hurt so much. I remained silent. “Answer me. Tell me!!!” I did not respond. She had not done anything that wasn’t enough. It was my fault. “Answer me, Arthur!!! What have I done to deserve this?” her words pierced through my stoned heart. Hannah was getting hysterical. She grabbed my hand and grasped my arm very tightly. She pulled my hair and slapped my face. She was mad. “Tell me. Why? Answer me!!!” I was trying to focus on the road but she kept on distracting me. I lost control of the wheel. The car staggered through the road and the darkness was never a friend during moments like this. Her final slap on my face drew me out of my senses. Everything went blank. I could barely hear anything. All I could decipher was something like a yell coming from her. “Arthur, turn the wheel…. Arthur…. a truck… Arthur the breaks… Arthur!!!
The place where the car crashed used to be an unnoticed fragment of the extensive highway. Now, people gathered there trying to get a glimpse of the tragedy. “Humans love tragic stories,” I thought. Red lights and loud noises filled the air. The police and the medics came. The young man got interrogated. He was obviously innocent. News reporters appeared live on TV and took our tragic story as a chance to be in the limelight. The medics pulled the stretcher and put there the dead body.
I heard a lady exclaimed, “He was too young to die.” Another lady spoke, “It’s a miracle the girl survived.” An old woman nodded in agreement.
There beside the crashed car was Hannah. Somebody was trying to get her on her feet, but she kept still. She gazed at my lifeless body as they lifted it to the ambulance. She was crying desperately
I could not make sense of anything. I wanted to cry but the rain would only wash them away. I wanted to yell but I had no voice. I wanted to run away, but my feet were weak and numb. I felt useless. Nobody noticed me. I was dead. The crowd was gone. The street was deserted. I sat on the curb alone.
There it was… awkward silence, unspoken words, eternal misery.
(Written by: Louie G. Mendoza/2014)
