Say Goodbye (a Selection story)

Chapter One

      The Great Room was packed. Everyone had come to the engagement party to see who the new queen would be. You could tell by the looks all the other Selected were giving me, they thought I won. I thought I won. But I didn't. I messed up like I always do, and now I'm paying the price for it.
         If only Maxon would talk to me, heck even look at me, I could explain. What he saw wasn't me flirting with Aspen. It was a simply touch exchanged between two friends. Friends! But Maxon doesn't know that. He doesn't know that Aspen has already moved on and fallen in love with one of my maids, Lucy. I moved on too; I fell in love with Maxon, but he thinks I still love Aspen.
        I looked over at Aspen who was standing guard by the doors of the Great Room. His eyes screamed how sorry he was.
        "Trying to arrange a time to meet later?" Maxon asked, and I whipped my head back.
        "No, of course not." I answered.
        "You sure about that? You're not trying to get one final goodbye before your family comes to take you back to Carolina?"
        He was so cold, so distant. It was as if it wasn't even Maxon.
       "You can keep the house, it's already payed for. I want my letters back though."
       I looked down at my hands in my lap. "I read them. They were beautiful."
      He huffed like it was a joke. "That was the dumbest thing I've ever done. Don't know what I was thinking."
       "Please don't do this Maxon! Please, I love you." My face was crumpling.
       "Don't. You. Dare." Maxon ordered. "Your going to put on a smile, and your going to wear until you finally leave this place, understood?" I nodded and put on a weak smile. "That will have to do."
          His smile returned as he turned to face Kris's again. I stared into my lap, slowing my breathing and I put on a brave face.
        When I brought my eyes up, I didn't look at anyone. I simply stared out the windows that looked into the gardens. Bad place to look.
         All the memories that I've ever made with Maxon suddenly same crashing into me. All the walks in the garden, the talks in my room, the time we danced in the rain on the roof, the Halloween party, our first kiss, the night in the safe room, and of course last night.
         It took all the power in me to not break my smile and collapse in a ball tears right there. I need to look strong right now. I need to show Maxon that his misunderstanding won't break me. But the problem is, it already broke me.
         My heart was shattered into a million pieces, for the second time. Aspen breaking up with me that night hurt like crazy, but this...this is so much worse. I feels as if someone is physically crushing my heart again and again, leaving nothing but a hole in my chest that's filled with pain and regret and the longing to be loved again. No pain I've ever experienced has hurt as much as this.
         Silence falls over the Great Room as Maxon stands up from his seat. Everyone is holding their breath because they know what he is about to say.
         "I would like to thank each and everyone one of you for coming here on this very special day," Maxon says with a smile, "Over the last few months I have had the opportunity to search for the love of my life and future queen of Illea. I can honestly say this experience is one I'll never forget.
"These two ladies up here are both incredible and would do well as queen, but there is only one that I know I can't live without," he gave me a small glare that only I could probably see. He turned away and looked right at Kriss. I had to look away as he got down on one knee, "Kriss Ambers, will you do me the incredible honor of becoming my wife and queen?"
The crowd held their breath in anticipation waiting for her answer and I held back a waterfall of tears.
"Yes, Prince Maxon, I would love to!"
The crowd roared with cheers and applause, cameras flashed trying to get a snapshot of their further king and queen. I just sat there.
I look into the crowd and find Celeste. She's looking right at me with a confused look on her face. What happened? she mouths. I just shake my head and she gives me a look of sympathy.
      Once the press got all the pictures they needed of me "congratulating" Kriss, I started walking out of the Great Room. I didn't want to socialize, I didn't want to hear people tell me they are sorry I didn't win, and definitely didn't want to explain what happened between me and Maxon to Celeste. I just wanted to leave and start on my journey of forgetting all this.
       Someone grabs my arm just as I'm about to walk out of the room. I turn and see it's Maxon.
        "Don't worry, I'm just going to go pack my things and leave just like you wanted," I say with a large amount of hate in my voice.
       "Good. I only stopped you to let you know that I just sent the request to send your beloved Aspen to the front lines in New Asia."
        I gasp. New Asia! No soldiers ever come back from there.
      I look into Macon's eyes and see no amount of sympathy or remorse about what he had just said.
        "Wow, I can't believe you. You say you never wanted to become your father but yet here you are; your sending soldiers off to die because you think they took something from you that you wanted. But as I was trying to explain to you before, Your Highness, Aspen and I nearly friends. He's in love with one of my maids and I completely support their relationship," a look of horror crossed Maxon's face, "so what you saw in the hallway was merely an interaction between friends.  And if you think that this just effects you, it doesn't. You broke me again, Maxon. And I'm sick of people breaking my heart. So congratulations, your quick assumption cost you the woman you love and turned you into a man who sends innocent men off to die."
        The second I spit out those last words, I rip my arm out of his grip and walk out of the room, leaving Maxon standing in a complete state of shock.
       I should feel bad for what I just said, but I don't. He needed to hear that. He needed to know what he just did. He needed to know that he just said goodbye to the woman he loves because he couldn't listen to one explanation. He needed to know what he did to me. How he broke me...even though he promised me he never would.