Raison D'être - Chapter 1

       I hear a twig snap on my left, far away. Although I am not yet suspicious, that’s strike one. Being extremely cautious is a trait I’ve hadto gain; not only because I’m on the run, but also because I am a mother, protecting her son.

     I listen for any generically natural sounds, like birds twittering or crickets chirping away. My heart starts to pound when I hear nothing to break the sound of a slight breeze whistling through the canopy of leaves above me, caressing them like a gentle lover. Strike two. This is enough to send me back to the small, temporary camp I createdin the mouth of a cave about a week ago – my latest hiding place.I hoist Eric to my hip from where he was playing in the undergrowth, then turn to the sound of heavy boots pounding on solid ground. Strike three. If I do not move, I am out. The same feeling pervades my body every time I hear them coming for me: nausea, dizziness -but above all, hatred. I am sick of finding new places to hide myself and my little boy, but I know there's no way I can face them just by myself.

        I don’t have much to carry with me -just onebackpack containing a small amount of food, spare clothes, ammunition, first aid kit and a few fighting knives. I have one long knife, serrated near the handle, tucked into my belt, and two pistols in holsters next my ribs. I know it’snot much, but I can shoot the dust off your boots at fifty paces, and throw a knife between your eyes at thirty.

       I carefully place Eric in the baby sling I have strapped to my front. He’s getting a bit heavier now, and that’s good - at least I can provide for one of us.I grab the backpack and kick some dirt over the coals of the fire I had been warming myself next to earlier.

       I never stay in one place for too long; Kelly's men always find me pretty soon, though I don’t know how. The cave that I chose to stay in has two entrances, just in case I had to make a quick escape. In case those bastards track me down again.

      I travel about twenty metres away from the entrance, and deliberately rip a piece of my shirt to leave it sticking on a branch. It’s white, so they should be able to see it well enough; Ijust hope they do not see through my ruse. Not wanting to waste any more of the precious seconds before they catch up with me, I head into the cavern without hesitation.

       I checked out the whole area before I made camp, so I knew my way around when I was inevitably found again. Justin case,I put on the night-vision glasses that I stole when I escaped The Institute all that time ago. Though I could navigate quite easily, staring at the fire had robbed me of any vision in the dark. Worse than that, this cave was really dismal: an acherontic bleakness, from both the enclosed area and the pitch black of night outside, threatening to swallow me. I can see some bats on the roof of the cavern, and some glowworms shining their ‘hello’sdown at me, but I pay little attention to them. It’s funny (not funny ‘ha ha’, but funny ‘weird’) how, even in dire situations - like running for my life - I can still take notice of so many things. It does not make sense. I should be overrun with emotion,trying to escape from these people; I guess escaping Kelly's men has become second nature to me after all this time, and taking notice of the environment around me is theonly way I can stay on the front foot.

       Well, I may not be overrun with emotion, but the feeling of wanting to throw up is coming back again. The worst part, though, is the place I’min. Echoing, desolate, abandoned, damp; almost a perfect replica of the inside of my heart, and like a cold slap in the face. If I didn’thave the need to get Eric to some place- any place - that will keep him safe, then I probably wouldn’tbother continuing: I would just let them take me away, and let them do whatever they wanted to me -whatever that is. Even if I could remember what they were doing to me before, I probably don’twant to.