Resolution
My curiosity always causes my stomach to ache
I still felt the same, afterwards and during
Sitting between a peace of a mind and a living hell
I rest and I rise, an on and off switch
But the light never turns on
Just a blob of regret
Sitting there in a room full of spiders that you call friends
December is going to end
On track to make another leap that never wants to happen
One day December will end
I will be a new man, a new set of bones
Although I am far from new, I can make enough progress to move on
Before December ends
Observation
I want to lay down
Come on now, look at me
I'm everything that you keep inside your frigid thoughts
This is not a drill
You've observed the present and now it's real
Numb to the world around me
That allows me to be free
Observe me, not a glance
Take a deep observation
And figure how much it took to do what I have done
This wall is mine
This floor is mine
You are looking at the tough guy
Who lost the label
Fell with desperation and guilt
So consider the narrative and move on already
Spiders
I am never there
You don't see me anymore
The phantom's best friend
Trying to survive wasn't the tough part
It was leaving everything and everyone you knew and loved behind
For the things you never cared about
Even if I wrote a book about what I have done
You still wouldn't even begin to grasp what actually happened
A reality breakdown
Indescribable by everyone surrounding the only one that knew
Now I sit down in my living room and mute all of the voices trying to help
It still cannot imagine my spiders
Ones that only come out at night, only to plant more eggs
Hiding in the vast corners of darkness selected among the room I spend most of my time in
And the ones that only I can visit
They are a mystery behind my art and outputs
Behind the smile we all once knew
Poison
What if I drowned in the rain
When the day has settled, I would now be in the form of a cloud
All of my thoughts have condensed
Only to poison the free, beautiful sunflowers in the field below
Everything I used to cherish, the things I used to look forward to
Is now splattered onto others
As is if it were passed onto the blooming flowers that were once in my shoes
Those same flowers are now continuing the cycle
No one can fully understand the damage
Nor take the blame for the barbarous aftermath
