faceless | hersighs

Chapter One| The Family Name

Mother says I should be thankful for our families name. She says our family is known for our talent and our minds, bit I think people know who we are because we try too hard to be known. Mother and Daddy have always tried too hard to make themselves known because they both think they're superior beings. But of course how could they not think that now? The world knows who we are; everything we do that's "notable" will end up on television or the paper.

What is my name? I ask myself this question a lot. Even better, who am I? What is my purpose? I don't know and I don't think I ever will. I'm the daughter, the older sister, and the uninteresting child. I would like to think I'm special and worth someone's time, but I'm just not. My purpose in this life is very unclear to me. I want to be a teacher, but that isn't good enough for my family. Marie, my sister, want to be an opera singer just like Mother. Shocking right? I don't even want to follow in my Daddy's footsteps. If i was a writer i think my cause of death would be bored to death. But a teacher, how exciting to keep learning and be an idol to young kids. The world would say, "You know the Smith's first born daughter Mary Beth Smith? She grew up to be a teacher, what a caring and lovely girl." Oh I hope that is what they'll say.

I woke up to my arm being tapped repeatedly. "Mary, I can't sleep. The Heaven's are banging again." I turn over on my side to see Marie. I look over at my clock on my night stand. It's 3:00 AM. I sigh and lift my blanket up inviting Marie to sleep with me for the fourth night in a row ever since moving into this new house. I look towards her and say, "You hear the banging too Marie?" she squeezes my hand and nods very quickly. I squeeze her hand back, "Don't worry I'll talk to Mother and Daddy in the morning and tell them what we're hearing.It's probably just because the house is old." And that it is, the house was built in 1887. Marie buried her head in my side and whispered, "I wish God wouldn't be so angry with us." I played with her hair, knowing it would help her fall asleep and said, "God isn't angry, the house is with us because it wants to rest. So should you." She nodded and closed her eyes a drifted off to sleep. I did the same.

I woke up the next morning to shattering and cussing down stairs. I got out of bed carefully trying not to wake my sister. I went down stairs to see a broken vase close to the end of the stairs and a rock with an engraved upside down cross in the middle. I checked the front door and it was locked. Thank God no one broke in. I looked around in all the rooms downstairs. No one was down here. What the actual fuck is going on. I went to the kitchen and got a broom and dust pan and cleaned up the mess. I kept the rock for myself. I went back upstairs into my room. Marie was awake and reading my books on the floor. She looked up from the book and smiled. "Are Mother and Daddy awake yet?" She said standing up and putting my book back on the shelf. "No, they're still asleep. Are you hungry?" and smiled and jumped, "Yes! Can we make pancakes and eggs?" I started going down stairs and she followed, "Yes, but you only get two pancakes." She frowned and pouted the rest of the way.

"Good morning girls have y'all ate yet?" she said walking down the stairs in her pretty pale pink silk gown. "Yes, we had pancakes and eggs." I said still reading my book while Marie played with her dolls. "Good!" Mother exclaimed while plopping down on the couch next to me. Marie looked up at me quick and started at me, waiting quietly for me to ask Mother the question that has been eating her alive every night. "Mother have you heard the banging in the attic?" she froze for a second and looked at me like i had just mentioned a dead loved one. "What are you talking about?" She said quietly trying to make her facial expression more relaxed. Marie stood up and pointed to the roof, "The Heavens are mad Mother." Mother quickly stood up and went back upstairs ignoring out questions.