"agh fucken who knows some minecraft youtubers??" asked glimmer as she trudged toward a group of people humming a strange tune in the distance
as she got closer she noticed they all sat around in a circle, hand in hand, surrounding 666,999 printed out pics of mike wazowski that were lit on fire
"wow alcoholics anonymous has really stepped up its game"
one of em looked up and point at her
"it is the chosen one!!1!! look lads!11!!! the CHOSEN ONE!!1!!11!11!!!!!!1!!!!!!!1!!"
glimmer blinked, confused.
an old lady from the group got up and clasped glimmer's hand.
"our lord and savior the biggeth of titties hath arrived home!1!!!"
"the what now"
"come, o great Chosen One. we've saved this throne of danny devito's charred remains for you"
glimmer was forcefully yanked onto the seat.
the old lady straightened up and faced her people.
"let us commence the sacrifice ceremony! we shall throw our offerings into the fire for the biggeth of titties! jimmy, bring in the wheelchair children!!!"
"oOOKAY THATS ENOUGH OF THAT. im just here for the minecraft youtubers"
the cult looked at each other, confused.
"my lord, we are unacquainted with the youtubers of the minecraft. if it's childfucking you desire, we can still bring out those wheelchair kids..."
"nO JESUS H FUCK NO GOD. by the power invested in my tig ol bitties, i command u to seek out the youtubers of the minecraft!1!!!!"
the old lady slowly nodded.
"your wish is my command, o powerful biggeth of titties, but i must warn you we are currently under a deep and terrible threat, a menacing beast for whom we believe you were sent to save us from."
"and what terrible beast is that??"
the bushes behind her suddenly shook.
"OH FUCKING JESUS SHITTING IN A CUP!!!1!!!1!!!!!" the old lady hollered and everybody sprinted.
stepping out from the bushes stood a large, eery one-eyed figure, the formidable mike wazowski.
"im going to rape you in your asshole now"
glimmer pulled out a shank. "the FUCK you are u big green skinhead fuck"
wazowski took out a monsters inc flavored condom and fit it snugly on a nearby inflatable dinosaur
"TAKE ONE STEP CLOSER YOU ENORMOUS GREEN CUNT AND I SWEAR TO GOD"
next thing she knew, glimmer was getting bent over her makeshift throne and her gump stump stretched to sizes not previously known to mankind
"WELL FUCK THE DINOSAURS STUCK IN MY FARTER U WALKING ANAL BEAD"
she swung herself drastically to one side, pummelling wazowski to the floor with the inflatable dinosaur stuck in her balloon knot before beating him to death with it
the cult watched in awe and adoration.
"she...." the old lady said "...she hath subdued the one-eyed beast with her anus."
she turned to her comrades.
"truly she must be the Chosen One."
