sad imagination

Broken

I'm just broken
I must not let them see the wounds, for I will be punished.
Why etch your skin when society will just carve deeper each time.
I've been abused(mentally), it was not pleasant.
I am sleep deprived, for the simple fear of the monsters returning to my dreams, haunting me.
I lay in bed, awake at night, wishing I could be happy once again.
All I want is to gain my happiness, my reason to live, I just want my life back.
The dysphoric feeling of not knowing what is the purpose of life stabs me in the heart with each thought.
I'm lost.
And not in a bad way.
I enjoy being lost, and away from the world.
I want to stay lost.
But I want to know who I am.
Let me stay lost with myself.
The original Brianna.
Not the Brianna that is always jumpy and excitingly annoying.
The true me must be found.
The Brianna that is happy, but will tell you the truth on what's wrong.
She will be more outspoken than anyone else in the room.
The person who is not afraid to go out into the world and say "This is who I am, and I love myself. Those who say otherwise, are forever irrelevant to my life, and life goals."
I want to be the original Brianna.
Not the cloned one.
I just want to be original
Everyone is a clone nowadays
Everyone is the same person
Same style, same character, same smiles, same people.
Clones.
I just want to change that.
We need to all be our own person.
I need to be myself.