A Notch in Her Heart (A Pierce the Veil Fanfiction)

XVIII

Tony's POV

I tried to keep my cool and remain indifferent when I saw Connor and Anne. It was hard, but I think I succeeded. When I got into my car and was away from the house, it hit me.

My girlfriend of about five years cheated on me with some some guy she barely knew for five minutes and then she didn't even have anything to say about it.

I continued driving for a while that night and the thought never left my head. It kept me up every night I stayed at this two-star hotel. This was my fifth morning here and I was just waking up. I looked over at the little clock on the small wooden table and sighed. It was eight in the morning.

I groaned when I saw Anne's name flash on my cell phone screen and clicked ignore. After, I was bombarded with calls from everyone, every other call being from her. Eventually,my phone couldn't even take the stress and shut itself down before starting back up again. Deciding that I didn't want to be around when it turned on, I went to take a shower.

Even hot water running down my back couldn't make me feel like I was at peace. For five days, I couldn't find peace aand that's all I really wanted. My depression came back and it felt like no one could understand me. With a sigh, I got out the shower and went to continue my morning.

When I was all dressed and ready to do something with my day, I ended up driving out to a store and buying a large cinnamon bun and a little jug of milk that served as my breakfast.

When I left that night, I didn't stay in San Diego. I went to Long Beach. Still in California, yes, but far enough for me to feel left alone. Driving around this city was easy and calming, but not peaceful. Everything I saw reminded me of Anne. Without realizing it, I drove up toward a cliff, got out the car, and sat over the edge.

My feet just dangled over the edge and I was calm. Not at peace quite yet, but calm. I must've been there for hours because the nine a.m. sun had turned into the five p.m. sunset. The summer heat was dying down and the cool evening air that came with August was now present. As waves crashed against the side of the cliff, I found myself feeling more and more restless.

I got up from my spot on the cliff, took off my shirt, socks, and shoes, ran, and jumped right over the edge.

In the air for those few seconds, my heart was racing like I had been running for years but my mind wasn't thinking about anything but myself. I was caught up in the moment and while the wind blew my hair back and whistled past my ears, I felt peace and harmony. Peace, harmony, and exhilaration all at once.

When my body hit the water, I immediately kicked my feet to try and resurface. When I got my head over the water, I stayed afloat and looked around at the curving shoreline. I swam until I hit the shore and then began the walk back up to my car.

While I walked, the swirling oranges and pinks of the sky morphed into the silver specked blueblack of the night. The sun was retired and the moon came out to fulfill it's purpose. Back at my car, I laid out on my back, feet sitting right at the edge of the cliff, and stared up.

With my hands behind my head, the lack of peace came back. For a second, it was there. It was there and it was as surreal as it could be as I felt myself lose control of anything around me. For a second, my mind left my body and all I could feel was that peace, the way it was mean to be felt. But as soon as my head resurfaced from the water, that feeling was gone and I would do many things just to have it back.

When my shorts were dry and the night was no longer young, I slipped on the rest of my clothes and drove back to my hotel in Long Beach. I was going to ride the elevator back up the stairs but it was already closing. A flash of familiar blue eyes stirred up an unsettling feeling inside me that I couldn't seem to shake. When I got up the stairs, the blue eyes were entering her room and the familiar blonde hair just added to the unease.