you can't fight cancer 🖤

Heartbreak #3

Jack's POV:
ok so kissing alex... was not in my plan today. i mean yeah she kissed me first but i kissed her the second time. and im not gonna lie but ever since that day she picked me up at the airport, i've had a little crush on her. i love everything about her, the way she is with her brothers and sister is the same way i am with my sisters, and the way she's dealt with both her parents deaths and continues to stay strong and keep her family happy, and how she's fighting this cancer on top of it all is amazing.
but me and alex have a secret that no one knows about. well now it's 2 secrets. the first is obviously the kiss we just shared when she's still technically with zach and having his baby, and the second is that any time zach had to go out for a couple of hours or bring the kids somewhere fun for a day he would leave me home to keep an eye on alex. and i know what you're thinking but no we haven't slept together or done anything wrong but we would have really deep conversations about life. she got to learn more about me and why i dropped out of high school and how i would always be cheated on and my depression which zach doesn't even know about and i got to learn about everything that has happened through her life. and honestly if it wasn't a secret i would've attacked zach the day she told me how he used to treat her. but she asked me to keep it a secret. we even pinky promised. it's childish but i'll never break it.
after we kissed alex asked me to call zach and that she's ready to see him. it kinda broke my heart. and she seemed somewhat excited to see him. but not a good excited like an evil excited. what was she planning?
i get off the bed and dial his number scared remembering i just kissed my best friends girlfriend. "hey zach?" i tried to sound as normal as possible. "jack! is everything ok?" he sounded scared. "yeah listen alex said she's ready to see you now, how are things with you and your mom?" i forgot to check on him and see if she had killed him by now whoops. "we are good. but tell alex i'll be there in a little bit. and that i love her" my heart ached. "ok bro. see you soon" i plopped back on the bed looking at my hands. "what did he say?" she looked nervous. "he said he's on his way and that he-" i took a deep breath and sighed. "that he loves you" i couldn't hide my feelings anymore. she's literally right in front of me and it's not like i haven't opened up to her before, but this time was different. "hey what's wrong?" she said lifting my chin up. "it's nothing" i said turning my head towards the door. "jack. you can tell me anything." she gave me a half smile. "i can't tell you this. i'll ruin everything." i could feel my heart pounding and even though the room was freezing my face heated and i fidgeted with the silver ring on my numb finger. "ruin what?" she was really confused. i stood up and looked down at her beautiful eyes. "i like you alex. i've always liked you since the day we met. and that kiss wasn't just a kiss to me it was so much more and i don't want to ruin what you have with zach and you already have so much going on in your life and i-i just-" she sat up and pulled my head down. she kissed me again. this kiss was more forceful and rough it felt as if we were having a full conversation with just our lips. right as our lips parted i was about to say something and that's when there was a knock on the door. i looked at her with wide eyes. wiped the chapstick off my lips and went over to the door. i looked at alex and said "good luck" i opened the door and gave zach a nervous smile and pat his shoulder and exited the room. i have no idea what was about to happen or why she kissed me again. i just hope she wasn't messing with my feelings.

Alexandra's POV:
jack. likes. me? what? how did i not notice this before? he went on about liking me and not wanting to ruin me and zach's relationship so to shut him up i kissed him. kissing him was different than kissing zach. it was more sweet and a little rough at the same time. when zach kisses me it's harsh and forceful and playful. then again these are the only two guys i've ever kissed in my life so i don't even know what i'm talking about. when zach knocked on the door my heart sank to my stomach as though someone had just tied a brick to it and it was drowning. everything i was confident about before was now making me scared and nervous. i didn't want jack to leave the room but he did. and before leaving he said "good luck" with a wink and suddenly the confidence began to slowly pour back into me. i had nothing to worry about as long as i had jack. "come in" i said giving no facial expression. i really needed to be serious about how i tell him i want a break or else he wouldn't take me seriously. he entered the room. and i gestured towards the chair at my right. he sat down still saying nothing. i refused to make eye contact. i stayed staring at the door. "jack said you wanted to talk to me" he said sitting down. i nodded. "zach," i took a deep breath and tears were burning and threatening to fall at any second. where were they when i was thinking about my death? i took another deep breath. i'm pretty sure zach could hear the sound of my heart pounding and it didn't help that the monitor was showing my heart rate. "alex your heart is beating a thousand miles a minute what's wrong?" he went to grab my hand and i pulled it away. "i want you to listen to every word i'm about to say. if you interrupt me i'm going to ask you to leave. understand?" he nodded. "zach herron, you have hurt me so much these past few years." hot tears dropped from my eyes the minute i turned to him. "and to be 100% honest with you, if i wasn't carrying another life i wouldn't care about curing my cancer. i wouldn't care if i died, i wouldn't care about who would miss me or not because of how much pain i have suffered in my life. all i would care about is making sure my sister and brothers know that i love them and i'll see them up there with my mom and dad. but because of this baby i'm stuck here. i'm stuck in a hospital with a dozen nurses and doctors trying to figure out how to save me when i don't even want to be saved. and once this baby is born i'll still be here. i'll still be sick and taking chemo and every type of cancer medication. i'll still have no hair and no one to help me through it. you were the only person that made me happy. i would've rathered melissa jam that stupid taser in me than hear you say the words that you said. all the things you have ever said, that shit is on repeat inside my head. every 'i love you' and every kiss and night we've shared mean absolutely nothing now. we are done until further notice. i don't want to see you or hear from you for a while until i can find something else that makes me happy or until i can find it somewhere in my heart to forgive you." at this point i was sobbing. when i finally finished he was crying too. "i just didn't want her to hurt you." he just covered his hands with his face. "so you hurt me instead? how does that make me feel any better?" i screamed. "every day i wonder if you hate me zach. i sit here and look up at that fucking light and think about you. because you were the love of my life. you were my savior. you were mine." i stare at him as he stares at me blankly. tears sliding down both our faces. "were?" he manages to squeak out. "i'm sorry" he whispers before standing up and leaving the room. once the door shuts i stand up and rip off all the cords and wires that were in me and ran after him. "no! i scream as he's halfway down the hallway. his back was towards me and he stops. "you do not get to walk out on me. im supposed to walk out on you!" i walked up behind him and he turned around. "alex i love you" he kissed me. i pulled away quickly and then slapped him across the face as hard as i possibly could. i turned back to my room doctors and nurses stared and waited by my room door. i turned and my eyes met with jack. and then i blacked out and collapsed in zach's arms.