The Band

The Safety Procedure

(uh Stanley's character is gonna be played by Thor)

Geoff dumps some lighter fluid into a trash can with his left hand and lights a cigarette with the other. He blows out a puff of the smoke before throwing it in the garbage can, starting a small fire. When seeing it's not as big of a fire as he wants, he yeets the entire thing of lighter fluid into the trash can. He turns and leaves after slamming the door shut, promptly walking to his desk.

As the entire office is working, huge things of smoke start coming into the office from under the door, no one takes notice of this which makes Geoff a little frustrated. Geoff starts looking around the office, seeing no one actually taking notice.

"Does anyone smell anything smoky?" Geoff asks to the entire office, trying to turn their attention over to the fire. Still, no one takes notice of the now present cloud of smoke. Geoff clears his throat to try to get Jawn's attention, this works. Geoff points over to the door, Jawn now taking notice of all the smoke.

"Oh my god!" Jawn basically yells as he points to the giant cloud of smoke coming from the door.

"Fire!" Thor screams, no one knew when the Norse god and Avenger started working at the office but no one minded. The only problem the others had was when he'd forget about his strength and accidentally hurt another employee. One time he tried to give Awsten a high five and got so excited that he knocked Awsten back around 5 feet into a plant.

"Oh my god a fire, what's the procedure?" Geoff yells in a mocking tone while the entire office starts freaking the fuck out. "What do we do people?"

"The phones are dead!" Jawn says with the phone in his hand. Geoff was trying to control the office and tell them to use the procedure but no one was listening. Suddenly Awsten came running out of his office, looking around shocked.

"Oh my god okay it's happening, everybody stay calm," Awsten yells while not being calm at all. Geoff's yelling trying to get everybody to use the procedure while everyone's running to the front door completely ignoring Geoff. "Stay fucking calm!" Awsten goes to open the door while screaming at everybody to stay calm.

"No Awsten," Geoff yells finally getting everyone's attention. "Touch the handle, if it's hot that means the fire could be outside." Awsten goes to touch the handle but being too much of a pussy, he holds his hand over it.

"What does warm mean?" Awsten asks, everyone then rushing to other door handles, finding all of them are warm. They then decide every man for themselves, rushing to find ways out of the office. Otto deciding to use the copier as a battering ram, Awsten trying to break the window with a chair, Thor trying to calm himself down, Jawn just sort of running around and Geoff trying to get everyone to use the goddamn procedure.

Eventually, Geoff stands on top of a chair and blows an air horn while yelling "attention" at the top of his lungs. "Attention employees of Dunder Mifflin! There is no fire, it was simply a simulation." The employees looked at Geoff with shock and confusion on their faces. Suddenly Thor falls over and faints. Everyone rushes to help him except Geoff as he tells Thor to calm down.

"No no no you will not die!" Awsten yells as he rushes over to Thor. Awsten yells out Thor's name repeatedly trying to get him up or something. "Thor, Thanos has the infinity stones get up and fight! You are the strongest Avenger Thor!" Awsten then tries giving him mouth-to-mouth which causes all the other employees to try to pull him back.

(Authors note: might just make this an Awsten and Thor fanfic for shits and giggles.)