The House in the Lake

Kane's Wish

After then, things were brilliant. The clouds from my mind and heart had dispersed and I could focus on loving him and keep on showing him every single moment that I do love him.

I believe Lugh has understood that something has changed. I don't think, though, he has realised why. I wish I could say that it was my love and trust that actually convinced me of his innocence, but you and I know very well that this isn't the truth. If his tongue hadn't slipped, I would probably have continued being uncertain as to whether he is a demon or a god, so to speak.

I should have known, though. I should have known from the first moment I looked into his eyes. How could these eyes belong to a merciless, cold murderer? So, yes, now that I know better, I'm ashamed I didn't know from the start.

But don't get me wrong. The love I've been giving him is the real thing. Imperfect? Well, yes. I admit it. Then again, I'm an imperfect human. Nevertheless, it is real. And I'm glad I had already started giving this love to him before I found out he is indeed innocent.

As for Lugh? I'm sure he knows I'm not going to kill him, although he hasn't said so. I would say he doesn't seem to worry about it, but he hadn't shown any concern about it even when I was certain I would kill him. And he still takes good care of me, in every possible way.

I can see he is happier, but this is probably because I tell him I love him all the time, and show him I mean it, and try to take the best care of him I can. Well... How do you take good care of a god who can do anything just by willing it?

Exactly! There isn't much to do. So, what I mostly do is hugging him, and kissing him, and caressing him and making love with him. He seems pleased, and I'm happy for that. I am! But I would love to do more for him.

Once, I thought I would try to wake up before him and prepare his breakfast. Silly, right? In more ways than you think, in fact. I mean, for one, he doesn't eat breakfast, or anything. Then, I haven't seen a refrigerator, a cupboard, or anything where food and dishes would be found. And finally, waking up before him is impossible! I really think he doesn't sleep the way we, humans, do.

So, yes, there isn't much for me to do for him other than showing my love to him, in every possible way. Which isn't something to be disregarded, probably. I mean, were he the one in my place, I would be more than happy receiving his love. But he deserves so much more.

Other than this, everything has been perfect. Until last night. I was in his hug, after we had made love, and I was almost asleep, when I felt a pain in my chest. The month has passed. And this thought scared me. A lot!

So, now, I'm clinging onto him, pretending I haven't woken up yet, although I'm sure he knows very well I have, terrified to open my eyes. Is this our end?

And he, in return, hugs me warmly and kisses me softly, without saying anything. Without implying anyhow that he knows what I know he does. Usually, he says, "Good morning", or something, the moment I wake up. And then, he smiles at me brightly, looking at me admiringly, while I open my eyes. And I don't really know what he admires when he sees me in my worst possible condition.

But today, he is silent.

In fact, it's this unusual silence of his that finally made me open my eyes, to look into his. He smiles at me right away and softly says, "Good morning, my love", but something is different.

He doesn't shine. Not at all. It's like the dark winter clouds have covered my Sun, and it's dusky, although it's late in the morning. The actual sun shining in the room through the window doesn't help at all. It's like a candle's flame fighting against the gloominess of a rainy day.