you were my first love and i didn't even know it.
i bet you didn't know either, huh? you could have, but i truly don't even know anymore. i know i've told you sometime in the past, though i probably was very transparent about it because i didn't want to scare you off.
i was thinking about all those late night conversations we'd have on the roof or 'las vagas,' as we'd like to call it. i remember you telling me how beautiful i was and how you couldn't wait until our last year of high school to try out being a couple. do you remember that? i think that was the point where i fell hard for you. i fell so fucking hard, i wasn't sure i could pick myself back up. i knew that you'd find someone else eventually after the 2 other girls, but now i'm afraid you'll stay around for this one.
i shouldn't be saying these things. i know how shitty it is to say these things, but fuck, i was in love with you and i was too blind to even see it. i see it now and i would be lying if i said it didn't hurt so goddamn hard when i see the words 'taken' on your profile. i've tried to move on, i really have, but it's too hard. even though we're pretty much drifting apart at this point, i can't seem to let you go. my heart hurts so bad and i can't tell you. we aren't 15 anymore but god do i wish we were. i wish we were close like we were, i wish there weren't feelings attached to it, i wish we weren't friends at all sometimes. i'm hurting so bad and i can't stop it. you can't see and i won't ever tell.
