Secrets in the Smoke

T.H.R.E.E

-Flashback-

I felt cold. My leg was numb. The reality hit me with full force.

We crashed. I tried to open my eyes as I heard voices yelling but they sounded so distant.

It's so cold.

No what about Camilia.

"Cami?" I try to say but end up in a coughing fit

I heard the voices getting closer and tried to open my eyes but something was blocking my vision.

I smelt blood.

I felt warm hands lift me sending a wave of pain through my leg.

I felt them lower me on to something hard and cold and felt pain flash through my body.

"Ma'am?"

"Hello?"

"Can you hear me?"

"What is your name?"

"How old are you?"

"What happened?"

-Flashback Ends-

"Hi," I adjust my crutches to suit my weight.

"I'm here for my final exam?"

"Courtney?"

I nod.

She pushes her glasses up to her nose and gestures to a set of chairs by a long narrow window.

"Take a seat, Dr. Melindez will see you shortly."

I work my way over to the seating area shooting a few glances towards the door. 

I want to get out of here.

I make a promise to myself to see Camilia every single day and to go to her the second I get out.

"Courtney?" my nurse says interrupting my thoughts.

I stand up and work my way over to the door taking a deep breath of the cool air that hits my face as I walk through the opening.

Dr. Meliendez gives me a sad smile when he sees me walk through.

"Are you ready for this Courtney?" He asks.

I manage to give him a smile and nod.

The movements he runs me through are like a daze...

"Bend your knee forward, walk to me without your crutches, walk up those steps..."

About an hour passes and I find myself in an office with Dr. Melindez and an official-looking woman.

"Ms. Evans, what is your date of birth?"

"10/20/01" I answer in a monotone voice.

"I'm going to need you to sign here," she says pointing to a document on the desk.

I scribble down my name silently cursing myself for letting my handwriting get sloppy.

She points to a few more places and goes off naming the activities ill be restrained on and when I need to take breaks but it all flies over my head and the ticking of the clock gets louder and louder.

Tick, tock. Tick, Tok. Tick, tock. Tick, Tok.

2:30.

"Courtney?"

I snap my head up to attention. "Yes sorry, what did you say?"

Dr. Meliendez gives me a sad smile.

"Courtney, I know you're going through a lot still and if I know you I know the first thing your going to do is see Camila."

I nod with a slight smile at the edge of my mouth.

"I'd like you to say everything you want or need to say to her."

The smile on my lips fade.

"Why?" I say barely managing to get the word to come out.

He places his hand on top of mine and squeezes it.

"If you remember, Camilia is being taken off life support today and being moved to a recovery room where everyone can say their final goodbyes and there are so many reserved times I want to give you the chance to see her first."

My eyes start to sting and my heartbeat gets faster and I can tell Dr. Melindez notices so I quicky resort to a joke.

"So what I have like a free pass to the top?"

Dr. Melindez cracks a smile.

"Well, I guess so."

The lady at the desk smiles and continues going over the paperwork with me.

In what seems like a daze, I'm being escorted down the hall towards Cami's room.

When we reach the door I freeze, close my eyes and take a inhale.

I listen to the sound of her heart rate monitor.

Beating at a steady pace.

Exhale.

I nod to Dr. Melindez.

He nods to the security guard, a sign for him to leave.

He reaches for the handle and pauses.

"Courtney, are you sure you are ready for this?"

I nod.

"Do you want me to stay with you?"

"No..." I whisper.

He nods in understanding.

"One more thing."

I look up from the ground.

"If you would like, you can audio record this, so in case she doesn't make it to her room, to say goodbye, her parents can know that someone was there to give their daughter some peace."

I nod again. 

"Thank you, Dr. Melindez.

His hand touches the handle of the door.

I close my eyes.

  Inhale.

The door creaks open.

Exhale.

One step.

Two steps.

Three steps.

Stop. 

Breath.

After months of waiting. There she was. Right there. Five feet in front of me. I see her. 

Inhale.

Exhale.

I take another step towards the chair and another. Finally, I sit and scoot closer to her. I take another deep breath, start the voice recording, and begin.

"Camila..." I choke out.

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I'm sorry it took so long to post this, a lot is going on, I'll try to p