You scribbled quickly, looking up into his blue eyes. You had that feeling, the one you always had when a session was at it's turning point. You could feel it.
He twisted the paper between his fingers. He was nervous. Still. After months, he still couldn't shake the nerves. You weren't entirely sure why. He'd opened up, tremendously. But there was still a wall to break.
"Tell me about Kate...," you said softly and his head jerked up, his eyes widened a bit. "Wh-what about her?," he asked and you smiled warmly. "It's been what, nine months?," you asked and he nodded, quickly looking away.
He hadn't opened up much about his relationship. He felt like he was violating her privacy. You were admittedly curious about her, and if you were honest, a bit jealous. She had this gorgeous man.
But that was a line you simply couldn't cross. It would be unethical. You'd certainly lose your license. And it would be a terrible breach of contract, of Bucky's trust. He'd opened up, let you in. You didn't want to lose that.
He'd come to you a year ago, a broken man. Loss, heartache. Nightmares. Little sleep. Still trying to figure out who he was. Learning to accept his past and move on from it. And he was doing an amazing job.
"I can't help you if you don't talk," you reminded him and he swallowed, nodding again. "It's going well?," you asked him carefully and he appeared to be thinking it over. "Not completely," he muttered and you furrowed your brow.
"Enlighten me," you said, sitting forward a bit and he cleared his throat. It was clear he was wrestling with his emotions. With how much he should reveal. "I'm just...not happy," he said, finally looking at you and you asked what he meant.
"In general. I'm not...not happy."
You sat the little notebook beside you and gathered your thoughts. "With the relationship? Or the physical aspect?," you asked and his eyes widened again. Sex had been a touchy subject for him. It took him awhile before he could even say the word.
"She...," he began and shook his head, closing his mouth quickly. "Bucky," you sighed, leaning forward and brushing your hand over his. "I can't help you if you're not honest. Have you talked to her? Expressed your feelings?," you asked him and he shook his head.
"She doesn't really listen."
It was quiet, soft and it tore at your heart. You wanted to hold him, comfort him. Tell him that you'd listen, you'd be open with him. "Communication is important," you replied and he chewed his lip. "I...I try," he spoke, still not looking at you. "I'm just so unsatisfied."
You let out a breath. At least you were getting somewhere. A few more moments, you told yourself. He'd open up. The gates would open. Just be patient with him. "Unsatisfied," you repeated, "in bed?"
He nodded, his eyes on the floor. "She just...she doesn't give. She's not vocal...," he sighed and you had to bite back a smile. "I try to talk to her and I get no response." You leaned back, watching him for a moment.
"You need praise," you said simply and he shook his head. "I like to give it." You audibly sighed, the look in his eyes nearly breaking you. You knew now, where this was headed. "You need to be in control?," you said, not really asking and he nodded.
"And you need someone to submit?"
He nodded again and you had to hold back the moan that was threatening to spill out. "I want to be...rougher with her," he continued and you crossed your legs. You didn't miss his eyes as he watched. "She doesn't like it. Says things are good the way they are."
"I can't cum anymore."
His admission stunned you. He was clearly torn. Between being the "good boyfriend" and needing to be pleasured, satisfied. And god damn if you didn't want to help him out. "You need to talk to her, Bucky. You need to lay it out."
