Ethan...I don't know what to write...I love you so much, even though you think I don't. I truly don't even think you'll care about this letter. I hurt you so much...I never meant to. I'm just a feisty mofo -chuckles- right?
I know I don't remember anymore, but I do cherish the memories we made. Like when I first saw Azeral again. He looks just like you, handsome as ever. You told me he had my "flow", whatever that meant. I love how he talks about us. Like when he said dada loves mama and at our wedding and he said, ew because we kissed. He'll grow strong and healthy with you...well, Coco and Nathan. And my little Rosy. I love that little peach to death. She is so beautiful, of course! She got it from me c: She will be a strong young lady, my little Rose. Tell them mommy loves them please.
That funny moment when you gave birth to Rosalin. Oh god I though I was gonna die. Who knew a big ass baby could come from a tight hole like that. <.< Too sexual. I was so happy to be the top for once, only because I was getting your pregnant. I love how you wobbled around and held your belly. It made me feel like a winner. I PUT MY FUCKING SEED IN MY BOYFRIEND AND NOW WE'RE GONNA HAVE A LITTLE GIRL! Like come on, who wouldn't be happy to get you pregnant? I almost fainted when I saw the babies head pop out. I was like, WHAT THE FUCK?!?! Then I was like, damn the baby got some hair on it's head! After the birth, you had passed out. I almost died... Izzy started crying and I ddint know what to do with Rose. I had put her on the bed and tended to you. I couldn't just leave you there....You couldve died....Once you woke up, you told me we you would like to get married. At first I thought it was too early, but then I remembered how much I love you.
Our wedding, the best day of my life. I know I was mega bitchy that day...a lot, but I was just nervous. I knew I was going to marry the love of my life. When I saw you there looking at me c: Reminded me of Twilight, haha. You said I looked beautiful. I didn't believe you, then I looked in the mirror...naah just kidding. I truly meant every vow I said, I think I meant it before we were married. In sickness and in health. For rich or for poor. You made my life when you said I do back. I was the happiest gay person in the world, really! o.o Even though everyone kept talking -.-
Ethan I love you. More than anything in this world. I swear on my life that I do. Sure I say mean things, sure I push you away or regect your hugs or kisses..but I never mean it. I love you, I love every minute I spent with you..I regret every moment I ever hurt you. I wanted you, only you. You make me happy...you make me smile. I never want to be without you. When I heard you shot yourself after our argument....I decided that I'm ready to leave. I killed you...I never want to be the person to hurt you....I did and I will never live with myself...
By the time, you wake up, if you do...I will probably be dead....I still have to write the rest of my letters, but this one is the most important. I'm sorry Ethan and I love you dearly.
