Me, My Shrink And Lisa

Session One: Meet and Greet.

– So... What do I need to say? – I ask.

– Start by saying who you are and why do you think you are here. – Dr. Macy, my psychologist, says and she looks down to her notepad.

– Well... My name is Noah and I-

– No Noah, who you are, not what your name is.

– That’s the problem. I don’t know who I am...

– Okay. Let’s start by Lisa then. Tell me about her.

Ah! Lisa Osment. My big, big friend. She is amazing. Too bad she ran away from this stupid town out of the blue...

– Well... Lisa is... She... She is the best.

– Do you love her?

– If I do love her? Of course I do! But will she know? I wouldn’t be so sure about that...

– Why?

– Oh, don’t worry. It’s not because she ran away and left me behind like I was nothing...

– Noah, I’m only trying to help you.

– Okay, okay... I’m sorry.

– Tell me more about your story with her.

– Well...

——————————————————

It all started on my 17th birthday. I got the best wishes from my family:
My father got me a... wait for it... Unfinished car! I can’t complain, I loved him and working with him on the car but we didn’t finish it in time of my big day.
My mother gave me a book to write about my adventures from then on. I called it a diary but she called it a “men agenda”. Whatever mom!
My sisters gave me... nothing. They just arrived at my house.

At school, my friends were planning to throw a party for me, which didn’t happen as they would be the only guests. But there was this new girl... Lisa Osment... She didn’t agree with that fact that much...

“Of course I’ll go! It’ll be fun!” – She said and smiled a big and bright smile – “When?”

“Tonight.” – Marcus, one of my friends said.

“You really don’t have to go...” – I said, hoping that she’d see what a big fiasco it was going to be – “I know that you must have better things to do...”

“If you call staying home a ‘better thing to do’ then, yes, I do have a better thing to do. But I rather go to this party of yours.” – She said and started to walk away – “Text me the address!”

“I don’t have your number!” – I said.

“Check your pocket, fool!”

And I did so. There it was. Her note...

“Lisa Osment, 555-123-1234. Don’t call, text.”

Then I smiled. And then, got punched by Ulisses. Marcus, Ryan and Oliver ran. Typical them.

——————————————————

– Ulisses?

– Yes.

– Who’s Ulisses?

– My bully. Who else would it be? The guy just punched me.

– And you re okay with it?

– No. I just tried to kill myself. That’s why I’m here. Would you keep up, please?

– We still have to talk about that attitude of yours...

– Oh, I do that on therapy. Can I continue?

– ...Sure...

——————————————————

“Ow!” – I said as I hit the floor – “Why did you do that?”

“Because I wanted to, what else?”

“You’re a moron.” – I stood up and started to walk away.

“No, you are!”

“You don’t even have comebacks. That’s how moron you are.”

When I got home, I found my friends standing at my door.

“Oh, good. You’re all fine.” – I said in a very sarcastic tone.

“Oh, you shouldn’t worry about us! How are you?” – Oliver said.

Guess they didn’t see the sarcasm in my voice.

“Great. He punched me only once. We had a nice talk. It didn’t hurt at all.”

“Uff... I thought he was going to beat you dead.”

Not even a little bit.

“Come on Oliver. You really think he was going to kill me in the middle of the school hall?”

“He could, couldn’t he?”

“Let’s just get inside...”

Once there, I had to taste at least three different cookie formulas (my mom is a molecular cooker). They were all great but she thought they needed to be improved. So her. My sisters, on the other hand, made me watch their version of Fashion Week Milan as they were trying to figure out what to wear on my parents’ vows renewal. The dresses were... Fine. I don’t know anything about fashion, okay? I was only trying to help. But, being fine for them wasn’t enough. They had to be...

“Spectacular!” – Maira said.

“Splendid!” – Maria said.

“Super!” – Maira said.

“Do you know any compliments that don’t start with an s?” – I asked. They ignored me and went away. I guess I should’ve asked before they named at least ten s compliments.

A few moments later, while playing GTA V on the playstation...

“Did you text Lisa the address?” – Marcus asked.

“Uhun... Wait, what?”

“Did you tex-”

“I heard you the first time!”

And then I texted her. And she texted...

“Too late, I’m already here. Check this out.”

And then the bell rang.

“I’ll get it!” – I said and rushed to the door.

I opened the door and there she was, in a dark brown beanie, black skinny jeans, black Arctic Monkeys shirt and dark brown converse like shoes. I don’t even remember what I was wearing anymore.

“Hello!” – She said and gave me a bright smile.

“How did you-”

“I have my ways...” – She looked around – “Will you invite me in or what?”

“Su-sure... Get in...”