You wouldn't believe how I met him, how he changed my life, how I look at the world, and how I feel right now. Three years have passed and nothing changed. What I felt before is as fresh as a newly slaughtered meat? No, as fresh as how you felt when he left you. I could still feel his warmth; his hands when he first hugged me the moment we've met. He was my best friend. He is always there, watching me before I sleep, listening to every sad song I sing. He knows me well. He knows every single cell I have. He knows every beat of my beating heart. He's there...
He was there when no one wants to be with me. He was there when no one knows that I exist. As time goes by, I felt the world is changing. I was scared. Don't even know what to do. But he helped me... helped me cope up with these changes. He taught me new things that I could do whenever I feel scared.
But one day, someone told me, "You've changed." I said, "No... you are..." And those around me became distant. I run after him. He hugged me so tight that I couldn't breathe. So tight that no one could ever dare to touch me. But then I felt the chains around my legs and all I could see around me were bars and darkness. I was afraid. I've been locked by him. He chained me and now I don't even know how to escape. His hands that once I thought was warm but they are as cold as ice. His voice that once calms me but now scares me as hell.
I realized, the world didn't change, I did. The people didn't become distant, I did. I chose him over them. I chose him over love. And now, I suffer--the unbearable pain I have in my heart. How can I now heal myself? How can I now free myself? Will I be free? Is there a hope for people like me?
Now I know... he has always been there. He exists inside me. And he has been created by me.
A/N
This story is about anxiety. :)
Thanks for reading!
