Concrete Angel

Chapter 2 - Cries In The Middle Of The Night

It's the begining of the 6 weeks holiday off school, not like I'd be doing much during it, just the usual reading books, daydreaming. Sometimes I wish I was different, I wish I had the confidence to talk to people, to make friends but nope here I am a loner.

Being a loner is the worst feeling, always on your own at school, at home, everywhere basically. The feeling that nobody wants to be with you, to been seen with you, it makes you feel as though you're not good enough for anyone. Not good enough to be in this world.

Everything is going great for my mum, her and Matt have been together for a year, 3 months and 5 days, Matt has moved into our home, I'm 7 years old now. She's totally fallen in love with him, I haven't seen her this happy in ages.

I'm sat on my 4 poster princess pink bed, the white netted curtains around my bed tide up, letting in the view of the black and pink walls, one wall featured with pink flower wallpaper, the rest of the walls just plain pink. Next to my bed stood a white dresser table, a mirror above it, my laptop placed ontop. I have a flat screen 42 inch tv at the bottom of my bed, behind my tv situates a bay window with a window seat, thats were I sit and think about my life. I know I say I hate my life even though I have a decent bedroom but all the stuff I have gets boring if you don't have anyone to share it with.

I decide to go and place my butt on the window seat, as I'm sitting there I notice a removal van parking near the house next door, they are moving furniture into the house. I sit there watching in curiosity, wondering who could possibly be moving in, I didn't even know the place was empty. I see a couple walking in holding hands smiling, then a little boy about a few years older than me walking behind them. He's got short, dark spiked hair, and chocolate brown eyes, oh no he's looking at me. I shoot over to my bed trying to calm down the heat thats burning my cheeks. Stop thinking about him, he'll never want to speak to you, the words flow through my head.

"APRIL!" My mum is screaming my name but I don't seem to hear her. "APRIL JONES! PUT DOWN THAT A STUPID BOOK AND COME DOWN STAIRS TEA IS READY!"  That time I did hear her.

We all sat around the table talking about future plans while digging into our chicken dinner, we always had our tea around 7ish, Matt decided he would cook it tonight - he was a great cook - afterwards we decided to watch a film. Sat watching The Exspendables one of the best films made, it was my dads favourite film, at that moment I started missing my dad, tears forming in my eyes my mum notice. "what's wrong hunni?" Concern filling her voice and facial expressions. "I miss daddy, mummy, I miss him so much."  More tears came as I told her, I looked over towards Matt his expressions seemed angry? "I've tried getting intouch with him love but I just can't, im sorry hunni"  My mum tried calming me, smoothing down my long hair while I sat in her lap, tears streaming down my face. I know my dad never wanted me to be born, I heard him say it when my mum and dad were arguing, but he loved me, he wouldn't just leave me, would he?  "I'll try and ring him again love. Everything will be okay"  My mum left the room with that sentence. 

I was sat there in silence something didn't seem right with Matt, I could feel a tension in the air, I didn't like it, it scared me. Matt finally spoke, startling me "April, just forget about your daddy, he doesn't want you, he doesn't love you. You've got a new dad now. Me"  I could hear the aggression and violence in his voice. With them words anger ran through my blood, I could feel it at the surface of my skin, how dare he say my father didn't love me or want me, he knew nothing about my dad. The shyness in me went away, I would not stand here and listen to this man say those things about my dad. "How would you know? You know nothing about my dad, you could never be half the man he is! Matt" As soon as them words fell out of my mouth, his face turn angry, it was frightening I've never seen anyone this angry before. "DO NOT CALL ME BY MY NAME, I. AM. YOUR. DAD!"  Fear now running through me, I was scared but not only scared of him I was terrified of what could happen. I didn't know what to do, should I cower away go back into my shell, or should I stand up for myself. Matt was right in my face, invading my personal space I didn't like it, I wasn't use to it, from this angle I could a chain around his neck, it had a medallion on it, quite an unusual one it had sploges of red dots around the ends of it. He was too close for comfort, I stood up, got into his face, looked him in the eyes "you are NOT my dad, and you will NEVER be my dad"  I could hear the bitterness in my voice, the harshness of my tounge. With that I felt a sudden throbbing pain in my left cheek, I brought my hand upto where I could feel the pain, tears burst from my eyes. He had slapped me across the face!

My mum rushed in wondering what the commotion was, she saw the red, already bruising hand mark on my face. Anger filled her eyes and her voice "April, baby, go upstairs please I'll be up in a moment" 

Sitting on my bed, my cheek still bursting with pain, I could feel the swelling already. I could hear the conversation my mum and Matt was having.

"Diana, please im so sorry, I don't know what came over me, I didn't mean to, I see her as my own daughter, she gave me back chat. Please Diana it won't happen again I promise. I love you Diana"  I could hear the pleads in his voice trying to win my mum over, saying it was an accident, my mum believes the words he says and accepts.

Believing his lies was the worst decision my mum has ever made.