One-Shot Entry for knightsrachel

One-Shot

Emily in London – Christmastime

"Emily, wake up."

I groaned and turned over on the mattress, pretending I was at home. "Go away, it's too early for this shit."

"Well I'll just let the nurse come find you then." Kelani mouthed back to me.

I shot right up at hearing that. I'd been there a few times, and it wasn't fun. On the days a nurse came to find me, life was hard at this rehab place. While I had come to the realization that I had a problem a few months ago, it wasn't any easier to choose recovery everyday.

"That's what I thought." Kelani said smugly as she turned to walk out the doorway. I rolled my eyes and threw on Emmett's sweatshirt. Even after almost 4 months here, it was the most comfortable thing I had.

After the usual conversation during vitals ("Can I see my weight yet?" "No, Emily, not yet.") I went down to breakfast. I found Kelani talking to the new person in the facility. Her purple hair stood out as I glanced down.

"-get's easier. Take it from Emily here." I kept moving towards the line for food, thanking the nurse for my sheet. Yogurt WITH granola, a piece of fruit, and some toast with butter. And still an ensure. I wasn't thrilled with the butter part on the toast, but I wanted my coffee badly today. I picked up a vanilla ensure, and moved back towards Kelani.

"Emily, this is Jaycee. I saw her sitting by herself, and came to make friends. She's Rebecca's new roommate." I saw Kelani wince, but purple hair didn't seem to notice. Rebecca had a tendency to be blunt towards any new people in here.

"Hi." She mumbled quietly.

"Hello, Jaycee. I'm Emily, from Florida in the states." I said as I sat down.

My god, I thought to myself. Emmett would have a field day if he heard me refer to The United States as "The States."

"I'm from here in London," She continued to mumble. "But I don't belong here. I belong with my family, spending the holidays with them." So she was one of those. I can't say much though, because up until a month into my stay, so was I.

"Don't we all." Kelani said with an eye-roll. She seems to have woken up on the extra sassy side of her bed this morning.

"I was like that, too. Kelani was right though, it does get easier." I reassured her. She didn't look too reassured or enthused, but I ignored that. "Also, word of advice, they pat you down before you leave."

Jaycee's eyes got wide, probably wondering how I read her mind. I just shrugged, and finished off my toast. I learned a trick from Aisha last month before she left. Finish the most unpleasant food first. It's gone, and gives you the best chance at a positive meal.

I had to sit with her and the nurses after a particularly bad meal where I threw up in a bathroom after I was done. I had eaten until I was sick, but the nurses thought I had done it purposely. Now I sit with nurses after every meal, despite my protests that I wasn't ever going do that again. It was unpleasant enough the first time, and the second time isn't any better. It wasn't a pleasant phone call with Emmett when I had to tell him that Dr. Pulitz had added Bulima to my diagnoses. I didn't hear from him for a week and a half after that. I've never done it again, nor have I had any urge to, but the diagnosis is there. At least now I know I can if I ever actually wanted to.

I finished half my ensure and felt the overly full feeling that I've grown accustomed to. Dr. Pulitz said that it's normal to feel this way, as I regained my sense of hunger. While I was especially glad when they finally removed the feeding tube a few weeks ago, I was disappointed to find that the full feeling after eating didn't go away. I constantly felt bloated, and tried not to think about it for the hour I had to sit with the nurses. They tried to make small talk with me while I sat there, but today I wasn't in the mood. Tomorrow was the day Emmett normally called, and I just wanted to hear his voice already.