drowninherperfume - harry styles writings

Woman

"Can I just have a second?" Harry asked, pushing himself away from the recording desk as he listened to one of his newly produced songs. Reminding him too much of you, he had to swallow the lump in his throat a couple of times before he knew it was best for him to take a break in private.

He leant over the sinks in the toilet, occasionally adjusting his stance to wipe the tears from his cheeks. "Fuck, get yourself together Harry." He muttered to himself in anger. His job was supposed to help him to forget, but somehow everything just made him think of you – and then you're new boyfriend.

"Harry, I can deal with it. I can deal with anything as long as I'm with you!" You shout in frustration, your anger mostly directed towards the fact that he wouldn't let you make this decision for yourself. You began to completely disregard his feelings in the long distance situation as your panic began to settle in at the idea of losing him.

"But we're not with each other Y/N." He replies back with a soft tone, contradictory to your own. It was irritating you that he seemed so calm and unphased at the predicament, in comparison to your own messy state. Harry must have been planning this break up for a while. "I can't let myself ignore you and neglect our relationship anymore, even though it's not intentional on my part it's still there. I love you too much to hurt you."

You stood in the kitchen, leant against to counter as Harry cautiously made his way towards you. Taking your hands in his, he kissed your knuckles gently and let his lips linger there for a moment.

"Please, don't leave Harry." You cry, letting out a desperate sob. He pulled you closer with your head now in his chest and your hands wrapped tightly around his torso.

"I have to." He whispered, pressing a kiss to your hair and pulling away slowly. "I'll always love you."

That was seven months again, and unlike you, he wasn't over it. Nothing seemed to matter apart from you, and he realised that when he was sat in his mum's living room the night after he left you. Pushing aside his selfish feelings, he focused on letting you heal and move on, without him.

That's why he couldn't understand the pain he experienced every single day when he went onto Instagram and saw your photos with your new boyfriend, the press photos of you in the streets together and the old photos he'd flick through in his camera roll, not being able to bring himself to delete them.

You'd be lying if you said you didn't think about Harry every single day. You felt pain too. The emptiness you felt after he left was so intense that you moved house, trying to rid yourself of everything that reminded you of him. That never really worked considering a piece of furniture, an item of clothing or even a food was enough to remind you of him.

When Jake came along he was able to help you forget at moments and you realised you began to feel genuinely happy in his presence. You clung onto that, getting closer to Jake and eventually dating. This didn't mean that you didn't miss and love Harry with your whole heart, because you still followed his social media's and supported his career in any way you could, but it also didn't mean that you were in love with Jake. You weren't in love with him, and you felt incredibly guilty about it but it seemed impossible to ever feel the love you had with Harry with anyone else.

So one night when you were looking through old photos on your laptop, your heart seemed to miss a beat as Harry's wide grin showed up on the screen and you seemed to long for him more in this very moment than you ever had before. You scrolled past pictures of him laid in your bed, grinning at some stupid pun he made up and you shut your laptop. Taking a shaky breath, the sadness pooled at the bottom of your stomach as you sat with your back against the headboard of your bed.

Your phone rang, making you jump slightly as it broke your train of thought. Harry.You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, pressing the phone to your ear without speaking.

"Y/N?" He said, almost in a sigh of relief. "Is it you? Did you really pick up?" He says, sniffling and you could tell he had been crying.

"Yeah it's me." You mumble, biting your lip nervously. "What's wrong? Why have you been crying?" You hear him shuffle on the other end of the line, coughing to clear his throat.

"Oh, it's nothing." He says, not wanting to make you aware of the real reason. "I just needed to hear your voice again."

"Okay well I'm here." You smile slightly, feeling honoured that you still had the chance to make him feel better.

"And I also needed you to know that I miss you more than anything, and I can't stop thinking about you."