Just a disclaimer-this whole thing is a rough draft. I haven't had an editor run through this or anything, so keep that in mind. Thanks for reading! :)
You never really understand the concept of suffocation until you have actually experienced it. You never really understand that yes, you are having trouble breathing and the pure air that was once right in front of you for the taking is thinning into nothingness, yet, at the very beginning, you have the ability to take a big, deep breath. It is not as if the energy escapes you and you physically can not breathe, it's that, mentally, you don't want to. You know that if you take that fathomless breath, you are letting in the tainted air-the contaminated air. The air that contains water and carbon and volatile organic compounds that will undoubtedly hurt you if you let them sink into your functioning body. The smoke will damage it. The smoke will damage you.
That fear-that fear is what drives the stigma behind the notion of suffocation. The irony of it is-
"PAYSON! Payson!"
Mathew.
"Payson!"
Mathew, I'm drowning.
"Pay, where are you?"
I'm in... I'm drowning.
"PAYSON!"
The floor boards creak. I can't open my mouth. I can't-
"Pay-DAMN IT!"
The door nob moves for a second, but stops suddenly. The edges of my vision become blurry. I losing it. I'm-I'm drowning.
"Hold on, just hold on!"
But I'm not drowning. My hand reaches out in front of me and touches the makeup stain in my carpet. There's no water. But there's no air either, I can't-
The door gives way, and something falls on my legs. I barley feel it. I barley feel anything anymore.
"Payson! Oh God, Pay, stay with me."
I feel his arms-not lean, but not muscular either-embrace me. His arms are just sturdy. Just...
"Okay, Pay, I've got you."
It's like I'm levitating, but it's as I move higher that the smoke becomes thicker, and I just can't do it anymore. Not even for him.
That's when I loose it.
