Nearly Lost

Chapter 1

"I've been having a lot of bad days lately"

Playlist for today (listen for better reading experience!): Ring (feat. Kehlani) - Cardi B

***

"Daddy? Daddy!" I yell at my father, motionless, his back facing me. I spin him around and stare into his blank eyes, his face devoid of emotion and blood trickling down his nose and mouth.

"Run Kirana, run!" he yells as he snaps out of his trance.

"Why?" I cry out as I watch my father's body burst and blood splashes all over my nightie.

***

"Shit!" I breath out heavily. I rub my temples with my fingers, feeling exhaustion taking over. All those sleepless nights were finally taking a toll on me. It always took me a great deal of time to register what happened these past few days but when I finally do, I feel myself regretting waking up in the first place each time. My head refused to believe my father was dead. And honestly the more I think about it, the more unbelievable and ridiculous this whole situation is.

The police officers told us he had high amounts of alcohol in his  body system when he died in the accident. Apparently he was drinking and driving when he crashed into the lorry.

Dad never drinks and drive, he's a pure example of a responsible parent. The story the cops were telling us, It just didn't add up. 

The mornings following up after his death were the most unbearable parts of the day. I would wake up to the memory of him in the hospital and his last breath and realize that I will never, ever get to see him again.

It was completely sickening.

I sigh and take a quick look at my room. Ice cream and KFC chicken buckets lie around, littering the room. Mum and Evie tried desperately to get me out of the depressing state I found myself in but they failed, terribly. Mum says I'm a very scary person when I'm depressed. This made it really hard for them to get me out of my room. 

My phone vibrates next to me and I see a message from Mum.

"School tomorrow, don't stay up late watching Netflix again".

I roll my eyes and sigh in frustration at the text. Mum is so unbelievable! Dad dies and all she cares about is that I go back to that hell hole disguised as a school.

I sigh again.

Of course the news has probably reached every one in the whole bloody school and they're going to pretend like they care, but we all know their just waiting to see me crack under pressure and break down like every other weakling that makes most of the loser population of the school. I am determined to never fall to such a path because of those sluts and man-whores.

In case I didn't make it very clear, school isn't exactly my favorite place in the world. I'd honestly rather stab my eye a million times than  go to that pathetic excuse of an Educational Institution.

I focus my attention unto something else. And that's my disappointing excuse of a room. My room is a mess, I'm a mess, I haven't showered in days and my breath smells like dead fish. Dad would have a fit if he saw the state of me and this room right now, at its worst. Such a clean freak he was. 

I choke back a sob and mentally slap myself for being a such a wuss.

I should fix my abomination of a room.

I pick up my phone again and text Mum "Alright."  and commence my cleaning . As I clean, my mind travels to the last conversation I had with Jay the night my father died.

***

The kiss was so unexpected. I didn't even know how to respond to the fact that my father was dead and I was kissing my best friend. Jay must have noticed I went rigid because he pulled back immediately.

"I know my timing is really poor but I don't think I can put this off anymore Kira. I really, really like you and I've been meaning to ask-" Jay rushes everything out but I cut him off before he can continue

"What the hell Jay? Do you not have any sense of human decency?!" I raise my voice at him as I fresh hot tears wet my face. " My father just died and you deemed it fit to use this opportunity to ask me out!" 

"I know but-" 

"We are supposed to be best friends you asshole. You're supposed to be comforting me, not using my father's death as an opportunity to make out with me!"

"What the hell Kira?! I told you I'm aware my timing's shit, but you have to understand that I have needs and-" I silence him with a slap that surprised the both of us.

"To hell with your needs." I growl at him. Jay just glares at me, shakes his head and leaves the hospital . As soon as he's out of sight, I fall to the ground on my knees and cry like I'd never cried before.

***

I feel embarrassment wash all over my face as I remember how I behaved. I may have exaggerated everything a tad bit. I should probably call him to apologize, no matter how much I don't want to. He's still my best friend, even if he acts like an idiot sometimes.

I call  several times but he doesn't pick up and I start to panic. Something nudges me to check the texts he sent me a while ago. I disregarded them, thinking of it as him just trying to apologize.

"I know you're mad but this is important"

"Kira you seriously have to come over right now"

"There's something you need to know about your dad's death. I need you to come over asap!"

Crap, these messages were hours ago. With all the fear inside me, I rush to shower, take my breakfast and kiss my mum and little sister goodbye. They don't ask where I'm off to in such a hurry and "Be safe" is all Mum says to me as I rush out of the house with my car keys in my hand and zoom off to Jay's place. 

My arms are really shaky and my hands are clammy and sweaty, I have no idea why. It's either the fact that Jay has some insight on Dad's death or maybe it's seeing him again after weeks of grieve and denial. I'm a bit nervous but at least I was going to find out the reason why I was feeling this way, very soon.

***

Hi! What did you guys think of the chapter? Very short I know, but I'm a middle aged teenager who has Exams to focus on but instead she's writing wattpad books :).

Love Vanessa ♥