Connections | ✔️

Forty three

Valerie P.O.V.

I opened my laptop to begin my daily dose of internet distractions. The machine pinged as I received an incoming notice email from UCLA. I had to register for classes at college as well. Great. Another drab and dreary task. I procrastinated so heavily, it took so much mental strength to get it done before cutoff dates. I just had to get through one more semester, I told myself. Summer break was going to come to an end soon, I sighed. How fitting. Just like my relationship.

A tap on the door, prompted me to stir my head to the side at the end of another soul-crushing day.

"Val? Can I please come in?" My best friend asked. I made some sort of guttural grunt in acknowledgement. Ellana came in with a small, sympathetic smile. "Hey, so I hope you don't mind, but I've brought some reinforcements."

I sat up from the bed slowly, feeling my limbs protest against the sudden change in gravity. What am I? A 90-year old grandma?

In popped Sommer's head, then Alexys' then Jess'. They all shot me a small smile as I stared back at them, feeling quite emotional that they made the effort to see me.

"Hey," I managed to croak.

"Naww," Alexys came over to give me a hug as the others followed.

"I'm so sorry babe." Jess said as she pat me on the back.

"I'll kick him up the ass for you." Sommer chuckled. My lips tugged up at the corner slightly in amusement. They were trying. I appreciated that.

"We're having a traditional girl's slumber party tonight," Ell smiled cheerfully. "So get your butt in the shower, so we can get started."

There was no point in arguing against Ell. I reluctantly got up to clean myself up. I looked like I should've been cast as an extra in The Walking Dead.

No wonder she staged an intervention.

We were all sprawled out in the living room with piles of blankets and pillows, applying some face masks on as we chatted. I felt a little lighter being surrounded by my friends. They really outdid themselves; there was a ton of junk food scattered around, with a romcom movie playing in the background. All the things I liked.

"Oh man, I wanna keep my zen but she's such a thirsty bitch and a two-faced snake." Sommer muttered, after I had told them some parts of what happened.

I'm so glad I had their support, it was quite therapeutic to let my emotions free.

"Mm!" Jess nodded. "She's shady."

"Yeah I used to be friends with her right, Carter and I were, with a bunch of others. But like, two years ago she became I don't know, jealous? She started spreading rumours and lies about me to damage my image and kept trying to get in between me and Carter. We were just good friends, but she was totally crushing on him. He never saw her in any sort of romantic way, though. And of course, he was totally oblivious to it all being a guy, and he tends to see the best in everyone. But yeah, I soon figured it out and cut her from my life." Sommer explained.

This information registered within my mind, sparking something alive up in there.

Fuck. I've messed up bad, haven't I?

I felt sick to my stomach. Why did I listen to Lacey freaking Drew at all?! How could I second guess Carter like that? He's never, ever done anything that has been anything close to dishonest. I trusted him. I should have just trusted him and not used this as an excuse to run from our relationship because I was scared of flipping out. Oh no oh no oh no. God, I was horrible. Have I made a mistake?

Alexys nodded. "I'm only 19 so when I started I had only been like, just about to turn 17. I was super naive. There are people out there who try to undermine and undercut you. But you have to listen to your heart, and trust the few, real friends you have."

These girls were so young, yet so wise. If they'd like to donate some brain cells to me, that would be nice! I was obviously lacking in that department as of late. Crap. What have I done?

"How do you guys... deal with hate?" I asked.

"Pfttt keyboard warriors." Sommer rolled her eyes. "Really, they have no say in your life or who you are. They don't know you. They're just hiding behind their own fears and insecurities, it's really quite sad."

"Mmm, agreed. As a model and someone who's in the public eye, people constantly make comments about my appearance, good and bad. You just gotta shake it off and turn a blind eye to it because at the end of the day, only you matter." Jess added thoughtfully.

"You've got to learn to love yourself," Ell said.

I nodded as I absorbed the words of wisdom. My body, soul and mind lit ablaze as realisation hit me like a truck. I've been throwing myself the biggest pity party on planet earth, and I needed to break out of it and take back control.

We all have our own battles to face, each and everyone of us. And I'm going to start tackling mine like a badass.

I was so done drowning in it.

I've made a mistake, letting fear rule me. And I wasn't going to make the same mistake a third time.

Fear.

It was almost as great as the love we had for each other.

Almost.

~

Carter's P.O.V

Pain.

Is she worth it?

Another hit.

Yes.

Pain.

Do you love her?

Another hit.

Yes.

Pain.

Did you fuck up?

I swung full force.

Yes.

1, 2, 1, 2 and kick.

"CARTER!" Alec's voice came piercing through my mental haze, stopping me in my tracks. "Dude? What the fuck is up with you? You're killing the poor boxing bag."

I wiped the sweat from my forehead before unwrapping the gloves I had on, throwing them into the corner roughly. I sat down as I swung a towel around my neck, staring off into the distance.

"Yo earth to Carterrrrr? Anyone home?" He continued. "What's up?"

"Valerie and I are... fuck I don't know," I said with an agitated groan. My head hurts just thinking about it. And my heart.

"Oh. That sucks man." He pat me on the back sympathetically, before swinging himself on the ledge to come sit next to me. "Wanna talk?"

I shook my head, chewing on my lip. "Not right now, I just need to stop thinking about it."

He nodded in acceptance before whipping out his cell before furiously texting away. My phone began to ping with messages.

"What are you doing?" I asked him with a frown.

"We're having a boys night tonight, ya dum dum."

"Gee, thanks." I rolled my eyes sarcastically... but I guess I have been a "dum dum" lately.

"You will be later! You need to stop literally beating yourself up over whatever has happened. It'll be okay, bro. Let's just take some time to have fun and hang out alright?" Alec picked up his gym bag before strolling towards the exit. I stuffed my gear into mine before also taking off.

"Fine," I nodded. I think I needed this, I breathed in a deep lungful of air. I was kinda sick of feeling like shit all the time lately.