Since having an arguement with my only friends here, I kinda decided to stay on the low. I went to my classes the next day but for the rest of the week I stayed off. It's now Sunday and I had just gotten back from my Grandma's. She's out of hospital and doing well. I also really wanted to go see her because I had no one else here to talk to no more, she had told me to apologize to Sophia, but I know that wont happen because I'm too stubborn.
Getting out of the shower, I brushed my hair and threw it into a messy bun on top of my head. I kinda had to go back tomorrow which I was dreading. The worst part was probably seeing Jason, only because he wont look at me. He acts as if I have never knew him. I knew I brought this on myself but a tiny bit of me thought just maybe he may have fought for me, even to be my friend.
Slipping on my long t-shirt because it was so hot tonight, I walked into the kitched grabbing a bottle of water.
"GET AWAY FROM ME!!" I suddenly heard from outside. I pulled my eyebrows together. It's like 11pm and we have school tomorrow, why isn't everyone in their dorms?
Shrugging, I was about to walk into my room to watch a film in bed when I heard the shouting continue. I couldn't figure out what they where saying, so I walked over to my door, pressing my ear towards it. It was just outside my door. Grabbing the handle, I looked down the hall seeing a sressed looked Jason being pulled back by Patrick. Jason was staring at me, as if to say 'come help me!'
People where starting to come out of their dorms, so I ran over before a scene had stared. "What's going on?"
"Patrick get the fuck off me!! I'm a grown man I think I can handle myself!" Jason screamed, completely ignoring me.
Patrick stared at him with a mix of anger and shock, probably not expecting him to talk to him like that. "Do you remember last time I let you go Jason? Just go back to your dorm!" He harshly spat. I just stood there, confused as ever.
"Fuck you!" Jason snapped, finally getting out of Patrick's arms and walking straight for my open door. I watched him walk straight through my door until no one could see him, and awkwardly turned back to Patrick who was glaring at me angrily.
"Don't let him do anything stupid" he warned before walking away.
Walking straight back to my room, I closed my door to see Jason sitting on the floor with his back against the wall.
"What the actual fuck was that?!" I demanded.
"You don't wanna know" he mumbled.
"I obviously do if I asked. Also, what are you doing here? I thought you hated me?" I continued.
"Hate you" he laughed, shaking his head. I sat down next to him. "I don't hate you Lexi, I just don't like you very much right now."
I gave him a look mentally screaming 'are you insane?!'
"Why are you here then??"
"Because I don't get you. I want to see you, but I don't want to be your friend. I don't know what I'm saying."
I just sat quietly, not really knowing what to reply to that.
"I can't stay away, even though I can't be your friend."
I wasn't getting what he was saying and he was frustrating me. Confused was an understatement right now.
"Jason I don't understand" I whispered, looking at my hands.
"I like you Lexi, probably too much than I should. I just, I just can't be friends with you. It's dangerous for you" he replied.
I stood up. "I'm sorry Jason but I'm done with your code talk. Either tell me what you're trying to say or leave."
Jason stood up too, slowly walking towards me, making me walk backwards. "I can't stay away from you" he whispered. "Your like a drug, I know your bad for me but I'll always come back to you." My back hit the wall and my breath hitched. He hand reached towards me and stroked my cheek. It looked like he was about to kiss me, so I quickly moved away from his warm touch and walked into my bedroom. I could hear Jason hot on my heels.
Laying down on the bed, I looked up at Jason, craving his comfort. "Stay with me." He didn't reply, he just took his tshirt and pants off, leaving him in his underwear.
Crawling into bed, he cuddled up next to me. "People don't think we slept together you know" he mumbled after a while of silence.
"Good" I whispered.
About 20 minutes later, and I still wasn't asleep. Moving around, I tried to get comfy. "Guessing you're still not alseep" Jason said.
I sighed. "Just a lot on my mind."
Sitting up, Jason turned the lamp on next to him and looked at me. "Talk to me."
I looked away from his gaze, not replying. Grabbing onto my chin, he pulled it towards him so I was once again looking into his eyes. "You're always so bottled up. Talk to me."
Sitting up too, I leaned back against the headboard. "I miss my mom." As soon as the words left my mouth, a lump formed in my throat. "She's divorcing my step dad for some unknown reason and it seems like everyone knows except me. Also my grandma, I dont know I just hate leaving her alone. This school, my only girl friends here think I would sleep around, it's like I have no one who will stay around. Then there's you," I turned and looked at him, he was already staring at me, "you just seem so nice to me and I like you, I really do, but there's just things about you that I am unsure about. For example, Patrick warning me to 'not let you do anything stupid,' then you telling me you want to be my friend but you don't like me I just don't get it. My head is fucked" I finished, looking down at my fingers.
Jason didn't say anything, making me kinda regret my big speech. My head was so full of different emotions, what I did next was out of my control. I cried. Actually, I sobbed. Bringing my hands up to my face, I fell onto the bed, laying across the pillows. I felt Jason put his hand on my back.
"Lexi" he whispered. His hand started moving up and down, trying to calm me down.
"I hate this!" I said.
"Alexis" Jason said, a little louder this time. I didn't reply. Feeling myself being lifted, I landed on Jason's lap. I looked into his eyes, he looked in pain.
"I hate this" I whispered once more before being rocked like a baby to sleep, in the comfort of Jason's arms.
Just before I was asleep, I heard Jason switch the light off and felt him lay down, me basically laying on him. "I'm here to protect you Lexi."
Hi okay, so, sorry for taking so long to update I just havent had time, but I'm back to school this week so I'll try update like every Sunday or something, but no promises.
