I'm here for you (Mavin Oneshot)

The beginning and end of life

Michaels pov

Why?! Why did I have to be so stupid?! Why did I let you drive when it was fucking pouring rain outside, and you had just gotten your drivers license? I caused your death, Gavin. I killed my the only thing that gave me happiness. I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I haven't gone to work in weeks. I just can't stand walking in and seeing Geoff bawling his eyes out while sitting at your empty desk. Did you know that, Gavin? Geoff is crying his eyes out when someone even mentions you. Achievement Hunter has stopped making videos, and we haven't told the fans yet. I can't stand not having you there, being the smiling idiot that you always were. That's the thing I miss the most about you, Gavin. Your smile. Because that smile could make anyone smile. Through all the shit we went through together, you always smiled. All I want to do is see that smile one more time, or kiss you one more time, or dammit, even fucking seeing you one more time! And it's all my fucking fault that I can't do that! I'll never be able to hold you, or kiss you, or tell you how much I love you ever again! Because you're gone. . . . and it's all my fault. My fault. I can never do anything right, can I? I always fuck something up. I'm nothing. I cause destruction everywhere I go. I shouldn't have been born. I'm just a fuck up. A fuck up that caused the most amazing person ever to die.

I got sleeping pills, Gavin. Did you know that? I can't even fucking sleep knowing that I caused so many good people at roosterteeth to go into depression because of your death. I take one every night. I've been thinking, what would happen if I overdosed? We could be together again. . . . all my pain and suffering gone. I feel numb without you. I feel as if I'll never feel any emotion in my life again.

(Gavin's pov)

Please don't Michael. I see you staring at the pill bottle, I know what you're thinking. I see you every day. I'm watching over you all the time. I couldn't stand to be able to watch you, and not being able to hold you and tell you that everything will be alright. I've been screaming that I'm here for you, I'll always be here for you.

Please don't blame yourself for my death. Please, Michael. It was my fault. I wasn't paying attention to the road. It was me! Please, Michael! I need you to listen to me! Why can't you just look to your side, I'll always be there. Why can't you hear my screams? I'm in my own personal hell. Please! Michael! Please, just pick up your phone, and call the guys out for bevs. Don't mope around because of me. Don't worry, I went to the afterlife peacefully. It was just a little scratch, then I was gone. But don't blame yourself for it.

Michael, you need to stop drinking so much. You'll bloody poison yourself. Michael, please, that's your eleventh bottle today. You're going to kill yourself! Stop! Stop it right now you bloody donut! Why can't you hear me?! I'm screaming right beside you! Just listen! You'll hear me! Please see me!

(Michaels pov)

Today's the day I decide to join Gavin. It's been too long. I can't take not having his smile. Or his stupid accent. Or his horrendous gaming skills. It's all too much to take! Do you know how hard it is, Gavin? To know that your the one thing that stopped great things from happening? I was going to fucking propose to you when you got back from the store! I was going to make you mine forever! I wanted to see your face light up with excitement, and and amazing gleam in your beautiful hazel eyes. I would always remember our wedding day, it would be just perfect. To see you bounce around giggling like a little kid. Maybe, one day, we could even adopt a child. A little child to hold and cherish together. But we can't do that! Because of me!

Without a second thought, I downed the pill bottle.

(Gavin's pov)

Twenty pills. That's way to much, Michael. Put the pills down. Pick up your phone, please, and call for help. I know that I'm not here, and it's really hard for you, but please, Michael, don't! I'm here for you now, Michael! I've always been there for you! Why can't you see that? You've been pushing the guys away, and rejecting any sign of help. Call Geoff, call Ray, call Jack, call ryan, dammit, call Joel, Michael! Please, Michael! I'm begging you! Don't do this!

You swallowed the pills. You turned limp, and finally, you saw me. Just not in time.