I Won't Let You Go (Conor Maynard)

CHAPTER SIX; DON'T GO/Conor

I scroll through the newest pictures I’ve taken on my phone. I’ve been hanging a lot around Freya for the last two weeks and this week, too, so I have extremely many pictures of her on my phone. Also some pictures of me (because she always seems to think that it’s not fair if I only get to take pictures of her and she can’t take pictures of me) and quite many pictures of us together, too. I start smiling as I look at one picture of her hugging me. How I wish she would have some feelings for me. I wish I could be so much more than just a friend to her. I’m just scared that she sees me only as a good friend. Sigh.

When I come across the pictures of her dancing I can only stare at them. Of course they don’t tell the whole truth of how it really looked like but it’s still quite impressive. I can’t just understand how someone can dance like her.

“Hey guys, sorry I couldn’t make it here any earlier”, I hear James voice as he comes inside the recording studio.

“It’s cool, mate. We haven’t gotten that much even done today”, the music director says. Then he lowers his voice, obviously trying to make it so that I wouldn’t hear them talk. “The boy has been a little absent for the whole day.”

“Really?” James whispers. I feel like they’re looking at me but I try not to be disturbed and don’t bother raising my head.

“Maybe you should talk with him?” the music director suggests.

“You think?”

“Yeah, we can go somewhere with everyone else here and leave you two alone if you wish.”

“Thanks, mate.”

The music director clears his throat and says loudly: “Okay guys, what would you say about grabbing some food?”

Soon everyone else disappears out of the studio leaving me and James alone.

“So what’s going on, Conor?” he asks and comes sit with me.

I pull my phone away and sigh. “Look, I know we agreed that I won’t have any background dancers on my tour but I want to have some. At least just a few.”

James raises his eyebrows. “Okay, what is this Conor?”

I decide to tell him the truth. “Remember the girl who was also in the music video of Vegas Girl, Freya?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Well, I’ve been seeing her couple of times after the shooting and I’ve got to know her really well. I saw her dancing and she’s really amazing and I want her to be one of my background dancers.”

“I know she’s such an amazing dancer. We even called her teacher in Kingston University and asked to get her to be part of the music video. But is there something else about her, too?”

I bite my lip. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Conor, I don’t really know if we can get any dancers for your tour only if you have feelings for this one girl…”

“James, I don’t think you understand”, I say impatiently. “It’s not only because I want to have her around. It’s because I need to have her around. Even now I would love to spend every second with her. And when I start touring I will hardly see her. So please, let me have her as a dancer and you can find couple of more dancers, too. You wouldn't regret it, I promise.”

James looks at me sharply. “I need to talk with some people about this, but hopefully we can make it work. But if they agree to do this and she is not willing to do that, you’re gonna have some dancers anyway. You understand?”